I'm liking the darker stuff that is coming through, thanks to everyone who has emailed me, I'm reading through everything now but I'm also looking forward to seeing a lot more.
Writers wanted: May 2008 Page 3
Hope this is dark enough for ya!
EXT. STREET - DAY
A shady looking man approaches a lone kid leaned up against a wall.
SHADY MAN
Hey, are you alone?
KID
Yeah, my mates didn't show up.
SHADY MAN
Oh no, what a shame. Well if you're not doing anything, do you want to come with me and see my puppy? I have sweets too.
KID
Sure.
They walk off together.
CUT TO:
INT. CAR - DAY
The Kid and Shady Man sit in his car. A puppy sits on the boys lap and he holds a huge lollipop is his hand but looks down in disappointed.
SHADY MAN
What's wrong?
KID
I was expecting something else.
END
Thats a good one...do you reckon you could get away with that on tele?
There is a lot of good stuff coming through but I will be keeping the group small and I am looking to get this done by the end of the week so anyone who is interested and has not posted anything or contacted me yet, please do so before Sunday 1st June
Quote: Scott Evans @ May 28 2008, 2:27 PM BSTThats a good one...do you reckon you could get away with that on tele?
Cheers, and I bet you could, it's only suggestion, any dirty minded people want to complain, it says more about them than it does us 
True
Well I'm looking forward to seeing any sketch you want to put forward Leevil, there great
Hey Scott, sounds like a good idea!
Here's three I randomly picked out of my little box of horrors.
Sketch 1 – Lucky Minger
INT: Bar
Two girls are standing at the bar, happily knocking back Sambucas.
Carla:
Oh my god Janine, that guy’s checking you out.
Janine:
Don’t be silly. Is he really?
Carla:
Yeah for sure! Wow he’s coming over, you go girl!
Janine removes her glasses and flicks back her hair getting ready for the arrival of the mystery man.
David:
Hey, sorry to interrupt ladies, but my friend and I were just talking about you.
Carla:
Nothing too naughty I hope.
David:
Not about you, no.
(He turns to Janine)
David: (Continued)
My friend thinks you’re hot, do you mind if I bring him over?
Janine:
Of course not
Janine nervously giggles as the man waves his friend over. As he approaches, Carla’s face reacts to this rather unattractive guy.
Michael:
Hello gorgeous
Janine:
Well hello
Carla starts to motion towards Janine’s drink, indicating to put her glasses back on, but she takes another Sambuca and downs it.
Janine:
Hi, what’s your name?
Man 2:
Michael
Janine grabs her glasses and slowly puts them on.
Janine:
Well Michael, how about we get a table and you can (beat) FUCK ME!
David:
Dude, how the hell do you do it?
Sketch 2 – Am I gay?
Int: Living Room
Two friends are sitting watching TV.
Guy 1:
How do you know if you’re gay?
Guy 2:
Well, I guess you fancy other men.
Guy 1:
But what if you don’t fancy other men?
Guy 2:
Then you’re not gay.
Guy 1:
So what if you’ve kissed a guy, but don’t fancy them?
Guy 2:
Then you’re probably a little curious. It’s normal, chicks do it all the time.
Guy 1:
What if, you’ve kissed a guy, but don’t fancy them, but you’ve also, you know, with a guy?
(He performs a wanking motion with his hand)
Guy 2:
Sitting together watching porn or something, it’s bound to happen, straight guys do it all the time.
Guy 1:
Cool. What if you actually do it to the other guy?
Guy 2:
That’s a bit gay.
Guy 1:
I guess so. (pause) What about putting something inside a guy?
Guy 2:
That is completely gay!
Guy 1:
Damn!
(He stands up and waddles out of the room with a large object obviously sticking out of his backside)
Sketch 3 – Big One
Int: Workplace Toilet
Two guys are standing at a urinal.
Eric:
So, Mark tells me you got a big one!
James:
Yeah, not that big though
Eric:
Still impressive
James:
I guess.
Eric:
Is it hard?
James:
A little, takes a while to get it in. I get bored to be honest.
Eric:
Depends who you’re with I suppose.
James:
I prefer doing it with a small group.
Eric:
Me too! I’d love to join you next time.
James:
Well we’re fishing again next Sunday.
Eric:
Fishing? I was talking about your cock!
Skoodle, I liked the first sketch, have you got any more sketches?
Quote: Scott Evans @ May 28 2008, 2:27 PM BSTThats a good one...do you reckon you could get away with that on tele?
There is a lot of good stuff coming through but I will be keeping the group small and I am looking to get this done by the end of the week so anyone who is interested and has not posted anything or contacted me yet, please do so before Sunday 1st June
Those people that have sent me sketches for our show that we are filming should also send their sketches to Scott as the more exposure the better. By the same token, those that sent stuff to Scott should also send stuff to us so we can get this work out there.
Obviously if E4 want your sketch it will belong to you/them. Good luck with it Scott, let me know if i can help any further.
This looks to be fun.
Quote: Martin Holmes @ May 27 2008, 10:51 PM BSTAh but if you have heard the original Morris versions you'd see how blatant the 'borrow' was. I know plenty of people have similar ideas to previously written stuff, I myself have written stuff and then seen it on another show and subsequently scrapped mine. But something like this is so nearly exact to the original that it's hard to think it was original. Just my opinion.
Well it was original but it's a fairly obvious idea so not surprising that it has been done before.
Hello
Thanks to everyone who submitted their sketches to me. There was a huge amount of fanastic material sent through and after much consideration Leevil, SlagA, SlagB and Ruler of the Ginger Kingdom are the writers who are now involved.
I would like to ensure you with a promise that no material that does not belong to the writers involved will be used in this project.
Many Thanks
Scott
Just wanted to add my 'good luck' wishes guys.
FUCK!! Looks like my habit of skimming through long posts, and not reading them properly, has back-fired once again! Good luck anyway *kicks pebble in anger*
Ah good luck with this. I'm sure I won't be alone when I say we are expecting great things.
Do things like this come around often, or is it rare?