British Comedy Guide

Script layout question

Just transferred my script from word to final draft and have a question about transitions between scenes.

In the example below I assume use of "cut to" is correct between the two scenes?

INT. MARKS FLAT - DAY

MARK IS IN HIS FLAT

MARK
I’m bored, i’ll go out.

CUT TO:

EXT. GARDEN - MOMENTS LATER

MARK IS IN THE GARDEN

MARK
The garden is nice.

However, in this scene there is a cut between times within the same location - do you still "cut to"??? What if i want to repeatdly jump forward in time? do i keep cutting to and retyping the scene header??

INT. MARKS FLAT - DAY

MARK IS IN HIS FLAT

MARK
I’m bored.

CUT TO:

INT. MARKS FLAT - MOMENTS LATER

MARK IS STILL IN HIS FLAT

MARK
I’m still bored.

Any comments on the dialogue would also be useful although this is just a small bit so hard to get the idea out of context.

Edited by Aaron.

Oi! Capital letters!

Editing...

would it not rather be...FADE OUT
FADE IN

Ahem.... :)

There is a difference between comedy scripts, and drama scripts - especially for the BBC.

If it's Drama they like an 'OUT ON' and a 'CUT TO:' usually. So it would be

out on Mark determined.

CUT TO:

EXT. GARDEN.

Mark is climbing outside of an upstairs window.

MARK
Nice Garden.

ON MARK, PRECARIOUS BUT SMILING

CUT TO:

INT. BEDROOM.

A woman's head pops up sleepily from under the cover.

WOMAN
Mark??

OUT ON WOMAN CONFUSED.

CUT TO:

EXT. ETC.

``````````
It was generally felt that no, it didn't need a scene change, just a camera direction (PAN ACROSS TO C AND D or similar).
``````````

Never ever, ever stick camera directions in your script. It shouts amateur louder than the bloke off X factor.

You are writing for a reader first and foremost. The first person to read your script and hopefully pass it along. You don't have to say close up - a tear rolls down Mark's eye. You simply say a tear rolls down Mark's eye and your reader will be imagining the close up in his mind. Don't do anything in your script to break that willing suspension of disbelief. Your script should read like a story - and sticking camera directions in breaks that relationship between your reader and your story.

As to dialogue. Dialogue should reveal character - so in the context of your example it is hard to judge really M, but it's not another bad rule of thumb to not have people talking to themselves. There are of course a lot of exceptions - Alan Bennett would have something to say on the matter. But in your example the dialogue needs to be motivated. An actor would simply act I'm bored. So in your sample no dialogue is really necessary.

So in terms of the jumping forward in time example, you wouldn't repeatedly use CUT TO:S you would put MONTAGE SEQUENCE at the heading and then 'dramatise' that he is bored. Pacing about. Making paper aeroplanes. Filling up an ashtray with fags. Flicking between daytime television shows. Making a pyramid out of used lager cans ... whatever.

If it is a spec sitcom you are submitting - I don't think they care so much about out ons and cut to's As long as it is in a script format most people seem happy to read it.

Is this for the BBC Sharps thingummy?

Marc

ok, thanks for the feedback so far - the scene (sitcom) is comparable to a dinner party. I have a scene where people arrive with a few lines of dialogue, then it jumps forward to 1hr later with a few lines of dialogue, then another jump to 1hr later with more chat and finally another jump to them all going home.

So its the same people in the same place - just looks odd with fresh scene headings...common sense would say i just need "Cut to 1hr later:" between the last line of dialogue at 9pm and the next line that happens at 10pm?

also - dont worry about critiquing "i'm in the garden", its just an example (obviously my humour not quite clear enough ;) )

[quote name="M Lewis" post="160007" date="May 20 2008, 9:44 AM BST common sense would say )
[/quote]

Yeah but this is TV.

As i said earlier express it without camera actions/directions etc.

So use MONTAGE IN THE SCENE HEADING ... THEN FLASH FORWAD TO EACH SEGMENT, STAGE DIRECTIONS DESCRIBING VISUAL CLUES THAT TIME HAS PASSED, the dinner plates are empty, horror as port is being passed to the right etc. and then bits of dialogue etc

Then again in STAGE DIRECTIONS FLASH FORWARD TO GUESTS PUTTING ON COATS or whatever the visual clue is that time has pased again.

I like Mix To as well.

Like this i assume? (although where do i say its a montage?)

INT. MARKS FLAT - DAY

MARK & BOB ARE IN A FLAT

MARK
I’m bored.

BOB
Me too.

MARK
I'm going to cook diner.

MARK IS SAT WITH A HALF EATEN PLATE OF FOOD IN FRONT OF HIM.

MARK
That was nice.

BOB
I’m still bored.

MONTAGE SEQUENCE. INT. MARKS FLAT - DAY

MARK & BOB ARE IN A FLAT

MARK
I’m bored.

BOB
Me too.

MARK
I'm going to cook diner.

FLASH FORWARD TO MARK SAT WITH A HALF EATEN PLATE OF FOOD IN FRONT OF HIM.

MARK
That was nice.

BOB
I’m still bored.

perfect - cheers marc

No worries. The trick is always to make it read easy.

actually - one last question.

is there any difference in the transition description or lay out when you cut between two linked scenes as opposed to non-linked? For example:

scene of mark discovering his tea was eaten by bob and saying "i'll get him" then cutting to mark having a scene with bob 10 secs later over the issue.

as opposed to:

scene of mark discovering his tea was eaten by bob, followed by an unrelated scene of a separate character doing something unrelated somewhere else at a different time?

If you are changing the time and the location I would use the CUT TO: here.

In Final Draft layout where you are not using a new page for a new scene it reads fine either linked or otherwise.

I am a big fan of linking every scene one way or another, even if it's just a sound or visual link.

so in both my example scenes i would "cut to" both are different times and place although one is a continuation of the scene before (albeit slightly later and in a different place) and the other is two separate scenes, unlinked other than being in the same show.

and you're right - final draft doesnt seem to suggest a fresh page for anything?

Yes I would use CUT TO: in both examples. It's a new scene because it's a different time AND a different place.

Marc

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