MAN TALKING TO A POLICE OFFICER
MAN
Good morning is this the West Midlands police I'd like to make a complaint about my neighbour.
POLICE
I see sir, and what exactly has this man done.
MAN
He leans out of his window, and shouts on a megaphone all day. Kill gays this, and exterminate Jews that.
POLICE
I see noisy neighbor is he, is that it?
MAN
Well he had a falling out with his wife, and it was very noisy.
POLICE
Arguing were they sir?
MAN
No he stoned her to death, made a right racket, disturbed our neighborhood watch meeting.
POLICE
I see sir, anything else.
MAN
Well he killed all of my prize winning roses.
POLICE
Smoke from the bonfire was it?
MAN
No it was radiation from the crude nuclear device he's been building in his shed.
POLICE
I see death threats, spouse murder, and constructing weapons of mass destruction. What's going on here is obvious. How long have you been racist?
MAN
I'm not a racist.
POLICE
I see just don't like people who are different to you, I think I might need to arrest you. It's petty minded little Englanders like you, who want to spoil our lovely diverse community. So what if some one's culture involves decimating Birmingham city center?
MAN
For the last time I'm not racist. You blithering idiot I live next door to Boris Johnson.