Hitchers none topical.

A RAINY NIGHT ON A ROAD IN THE MIDDLE OF NOW WHERE. THERE IS A LOAN HITCHER, WITH A SUSPICIOUS BAG

A CAR PULLS UP.

DRIVER

Hey it's a terrible night, for some one to be out hitching, out hitching all on their lonesome. It'll be nice to have some company, it'll put off the voices.

HITCHER GETS ON BOARD.

The voices tell me to such.....

HITCHER INTERRUPTING

Don't you think it's a little dangerous picking up a stranger, what kind of sinister person....

DRIVER INTERRUPTING

Hang on this is a little embarrassing, but are you erm a serial killer?

HITCHER

Yes, and er are you, you are you?

DRIVER

Yes I'm a serial killer, I'm the bludgenator.

HITCHER

And I'm the lonely hearts driller, this is embrassing. Could you just let me off at the next service station.

THERE'S AN ATTRACTIVE WOMAN HITCHING BY THE ROAD

DRIVER

Maybe we could team up this one time, such sweet prey, be a waste

HITCHER

Be fun, and she's so very pretty, like my moma.

THE CAR PULLS UP.

CUT TO

THE WOMAN IS BY THE SIDE OF THE ROAD HITCHING, AS WE VIEW PAST HER WE SEE THE CAR STAINED WITH BLOOD IN THE DITCH.

WOMAN

F**king amateurs.

I like this one.

The formatting is horrible but as far as ideas go, two serial killers meeting accidentally whilst out on the prowl is great. I think this would play well.

Formatting is horrible, should I change how I do it in general?

Damn thought it was nice and readable.

N.b. where in the world is Carmen Dave Bussell?

I know you won't take offense at this, so here's how I'd write it:

EXT. ROAD - NIGHT

A RAINY NIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWWHERE. A LONE HITCHER CARRIES A SUSPICIOUS BAG.

A CAR PULLS UP.

DRIVER
It's a terrible night for someone to be out hitching all on their lonesome. It'll be nice to have some company.

THE HITCHER GETS ON BOARD.

INT. CAR - CONTINUOUS

DRIVER
Anything to put off the voices. They tell me to...

HITCHER
(INTERRUPTING)
Don't you think it's a little dangerous picking up a stranger, what kind of sinister person...

DRIVER
(INTERRUPTING)
Hang on, are you a serial killer?

HITCHER
Yes!

DRIVER
Me too, I'm the bludgenator!

HITCHER
I'm the lonely hearts driller! This is embarassing. Could you just let me off at the next service station?

THEY SEE AN ATTRACTIVE WOMAN HITCHING BY THE ROAD

DRIVER
Maybe we could team up this one time.

HITCHER
Could be fun. And she's real pretty, like my momma.

THE CAR PULLS UP.

EXT. ROAD - CONTINUOUS

THE WOMAN IS STOOD BY THE SIDE OF THE ROAD HITCHING.

WOMAN
F**king amateurs.

And here's where I'd put the last reveal. I didn't understand your bloody car in a ditch bit. Is that from her victim, because it reads like you might be referring to the car the two serial killers are driving. You might be better off showing that she has a knife behind her back or something. You could set it up by having the serial killers guessing each other's identities and one saying something like "The Springfield Stabber?" and the other saying "Get out of here, that's a chick!" Just an idea.

PS. Carmen Dave Bussell? I don't get it.

Old kids educational TV program/computer game.

Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego?

Was quite funky, thought appropriate to your wanderings.

I see how you improved the layout. Thanks

Oh right, I get it. I'm back in the UK and ready to rock this bitch sideways. Word out, Holmes.