Okay, this might go on a bit, ignore format and Type Os!
IF THE SHOE FITS
written by Kim Griffin
humourfirst@hotmail.co.uk
CHARACTERS:
CUSTOMER: A very testing customer who makes the assistant run up and down the shop consistently.
ASSISTANT: Not a very good example of customer service.
IN A TYPICAL HIGHSTREET SHOE SHOP
CUSTOMER:
(trying on shoes)
Hello, was wondering do you have these in a size 11 at all?
ASSISTANT:
Absolutely, I'll just take a look hold on!
(Assistant runs in to the store room, and runs back promptly with the shoes.)
There we are, try it on sir.
CUSTOMER:
Great, thanks. Oh wait, sorry they seem a tight, could you maybe get me the 12 instead?
ASSISTANT:
Certainly, il be right back.
(Again, runs in to the store room and returns with the shoes.)
Here you go, does that fit better for you, sir?
CUSTOMER:
Hmm, yeah I think I'll try the size 11's again actually.
ASSISTANT:
Very well.
(becoming tired goes to the store room and back with the shoes.)
. Okay doke, here you are!
CUSTOMER:
(pointing to a different pair of shoes.)
Actually do you have any of those in a size 12?
ASSISTANT:
I will go and see for you.
(very tired, goes and gets the shoes.)
Alright here we go!
CUSTOMER:
Right, infact could you bring me them all back in size 11?
ASSISTANT:
Of course I can!
(returns holding a knife)
Try this one!
(Stabs the customer)
Does that fit better for you? No? How about this?
(Stabs him again.)
I think this looks great on you!
(turns him round and pushes him towards the shop door.)
Take a walk, see if it feels good.
(The man stumbles out of the shop in pain, the assistant stares for a bit then realises what he has done.)
F**k.
(Drops the knife and run away)