PASSENGER
Look I just want to know when my planes taking off! This terminal 5 is a bloody disgrace.
HEATHROW EMPLOYEE
Why not try one of these super new tickets, gurantees to get any plane to take you where you like, and a job at the other end.
PASSENGER
That's ridiculous no such ticket exists.
HEATHROW EMPLOYEE
It worked for me when I hijaked a plane from Afghanistan. Smith and Wesson airlines, the only way to fly.
PASSENGER
Can you find my missing luggage?
HEATHROW
Who do you think I am B in laden?