WE ARE IN A LARGE DARKENED CATHEDRAL LIKE STRUCTURE, BUT THE WALLS CAN NOT BE SEEN. THERE IS A PALPABLE SENSE OF SILENCE. AS OUR VIEW PANS DOWN WE SEE THERE IS A CIRCLE OF HOODED FIGURES, ONE STANDS IN THE CENTRE. THEY BEGIN TO CHANT SLOWLY, AND RHYTHMICALLY.IT IS THE “DOO DOO,” MUSIC OF CIRCUSE’S AND CLOWN PERFOMANCES.
AS OUR VIEW MOVES AROUND WE SLOWLY REALISE THAT THIS IS INFACT A CIRCUS TENT.
THE FIGURE IN THE CENTRE PULLS BACK THE HOOD OF HIS COWL. HE IS A CLOWN, HIS MAKE UP HAS TEARS IN IT’S DESIGN, AND IT IS FAINTLY SMUGED BY HIS OWN TEARS.(HE IS CRAZY LEGS)
A FIGURE WALKS FORWARD FROM THE CIRCLE. HE PULLS BACK HIS HOOD. HE IS A TRADITIONAL PIERRO WHITE FACED CLOWN, HIS LIPS DRAWN IN A THIN RED GLOWER (HE IS WHITE FACE)
HE GESTURES AND A HOODED FIGURE JOINS HIM. PULLS BACK HIS COWEL, HE IS DRESSED VERY SIMILARLY TO THE FIRST ONE (ALSO WITH THE TEARS). FROM HIS COWEL HE PRODUCES TWO THINGS A HEAVY BLACK BOOK, AND A SMALL HAT HE CAREFULLY PLACES UPON HIS HEAD (SILLY BILLY)
WHITEFACE
Read from our book of sacred laws, Brother.
SILLY BILLY.
These are our sacred laws. Before records, before writing, before our ancestors had ceased being monkeys there were clowns.
CRAZY LEGS STARTS TO WEEP.
WHITE FACE
Stop that, you may have failed to live like a clown, you can at least die like one.
CRAY LEGS
Sorry Brother White Face. Read the laws Brother Silly Billy.
THE OTHERS IN THE CIRCLE PULL BACK THEIR COWELS, THEY ARE ALL CLOWNS. EACH HAS A HOOTER, AND A BIG RED NOSE. EACH TIME A LAW IS READ THEY HONK THEIR NOSE, AND THEIR HOOTER SIMULTANEOUSLY. THIS IS DONE VERY SERIOUSLY.
SILLY BILLY
Though many may copy us, there is only one true brotherhood of clowns, a sacred brotherhood. Bound together by these sacred laws; clown may never know the love of any other than the audience, a clown must defeat all who will usurp his brotherhood, a clown will always maintain the secrecy of his brotherhood, when a clown can not command the innocent laughter of children, then his day is finished.
And he will know it, and he will accept it. These are our 4 rules. These are our ways.
WHITE FACE
Have you chosen, the method of your comedy death?
CRAZY LEGS
Yes Lord Whiteface, Shaky Stevens, and Bubble Bum, assist me.
TWO CLOWNS FROM THE CIRCLE COME FORWARD AND HELP DRESS CRAZY LEGS. WHEN THEY PULL BACK HE IS WEARING A PEANUT COSTUME, THEY ARE INDUSTRIOUSLY SMEARING IT WITH PEANUT BUTTER. HE IS CHAINED TO A STAKE IN THE FLOOR.
SHAKEY LEGS
Is Jumbo ready? Then I goto my good clown heaven, release him.
CUT TO OUTSIDE OF CIRCUS TENT. SOUNDS OF AN ANGRY ELEPHANT STAMPEDING INTO IT, FOLLOWED BY A SCREAM, IT EATING NOISILY.
AND FINALLY LOUD LAUGHTER FROM THE CLOWNS.
A YOUNG WOMAN (POTTY IS TYPING INTO HER COMPUTER, SHE IS IMING ANOTHER PERSON SILLY)
POTTY
So clowns aren’t you just those sad, old drunk guys who keep the audience going, whilst the real acts get ready.
This is the first scene from my screen play (The Honour of Clowns).