The Sitcom Trials 2008 Page 7

Sorry to be dogmatic about this; but knowing whether it's 5 minutes or 5 weeks that have passed (WITHOUT BEING TOLD) is nothing whatever to do with intelligence. I'm no fool, but if lights go down, then immediately rise on 2 people wearing pretty much the same costumes in a set that's barely changed how am I supposed to know (without the things I've indicated) how much time has elapsed? I agree with William Goldman that an audience's IQ is greater than the sum of its parts, but not even the smartest audience is psychic. If it's important to you how much time has passed why not let us in on the secret?

This is not an insoluble problem; why not give us an intervening scene (giving us a change of tempo, introducing fresh characters etc) before coming back to the first one?
The time we've taken away from scene one takes the curse off a line explaining how much time has passed.

This, for example, is awful: Lights down on scene one. Lights up on scene two. The same. Five weeks later.

SARAH
Annie! Have I upset you or something?

ANNIE
Upset you? Why?
SARAH
You haven't been round for weeks.

That would make me laugh for all the wrong reasons. It's too soon after the first scene. Go away from scene one, make us forget it with something fresh, and no-one will laugh when you use that crappy bit of dialogue at the top of scene three.

What gets up our noses is where a writer has clearly dusted off a rejected telly script, and made no concessions whatever to the inherent problems of live performance. It's lazy writing.

TPTB

SARAH
You haven't been round for weeks.

Ok Simon so if that's the storyline how else do you tell the audience that weeks have elapsed?
I am totally confused now.

Quote: bushbaby @ August 19 2008, 10:55 PM BST

SARAH
You haven't been round for weeks.

Ok Simon so if that's the storyline how else do you tell the audience that weeks have elapsed?
I am totally confused now.

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Simon explains how:

"This is not an insoluble problem; why not give us an intervening scene (giving us a change of tempo, introducing fresh characters etc) before coming back to the first one?

Go away from scene one and make us forget it with something fresh."

Quote: David Bussell @ August 19 2008, 11:09 PM BST

Simon explains how:

"This is not an insoluble problem; why not give us an intervening scene (giving us a change of tempo, introducing fresh characters etc) before coming back to the first one?

Go away from scene one and make us forget it with something fresh."

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Great David if it's a two hour production but we're talking 15 minutes here. So within 15 mins if it is so that the storyline jumps....you tell me how else you would do it other than....you haven't been round for weeks. And please don't say one shouldn't have such a storyline in 15 mins because one could have an astronaut going to the moon etc, it's whatever the storyline is

I suppose the best thing to do is go and see how they're performed. It will give us a much better idea how to go about it.

And are there any developments yet?

Quote: David Chapman @ August 19 2008, 11:31 PM BST

I suppose the best thing to do is go and see how they're performed. It will give us a much better idea how to go about it.

And are there any developments yet?

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You can see how they're performed on youtube...ie..search for sitcom trials and then select which one you want to watch....and really they don't seem to follow the rules as laid down as far as I can see
try http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=lPuHN6q08PO&feature=related

PS Anybody see the Family Guy double bill just now? It was brilliant.

No, I missed it, damn

I take Griff's point about publishing the winners rather than merely informing them by email. Will do.

The reason that the youtube sitcoms don't follow the 'rules' is that the Trials has evolved. Before Declan and I took over they used to:

Read scripts rather than learn them (the filmed sitcoms you've seen were one of the very few occasions when scripts were learned).

Perform with a cliffhanger. Two sitcoms of seven minutes each would be read, then the audience would vote on the one they wanted to see the next three minutes of.

So the scripts were shorter, usually read and rarely rehearsed. We think the new way gives good writers a better chance of showcasing their work properly.

In conclusion; the youtube videos are a record of how things used to be, they're not a reliable template for you to follow.

TPTB
PS Anybody see the Family Guy double bill just now? It was brilliant.

Quote: bushbaby @ August 19 2008, 11:20 PM BST

Great David if it's a two hour production but we're talking 15 minutes here. So within 15 mins if it is so that the storyline jumps....you tell me how else you would do it other than....you haven't been round for weeks. And please don't say one shouldn't have such a storyline in 15 mins because one could have an astronaut going to the moon etc, it's whatever the storyline is

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Well, that's not for me to decide, is it?

You have to work out how you're going to pull that off. Griff did with his placards. Maybe some will stick bald wigs on their actors. Others will have done as Simon suggests and switched to another scene. A few will have found a way to work it into their dialogue without being too on the nose. Some will have avoided time jumps altogether given that it's a 15 min production.

The point that's being made is that you can't just write "10 YEARS LATER" into your slugline and hope for the best. An audience only knows what it's told.

Quote: David Bussell @ August 20 2008, 9:46 AM BST

Well, that's not for me to decide, is it?

You have to work out how you're going to pull that off. Griff did with his placards. Maybe some will stick bald wigs on their actors. Others will have done as Simon suggests and switched to another scene. A few will have found a way to work it into their dialogue without being too on the nose. Some will have avoided time jumps altogether given that it's a 15 min production.

The point that's being made is that you can't just write "10 YEARS LATER" into your slugline and hope for the best. An audience only knows what it's told.

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Fair enough

Back in the day I used to organise rehearsed readings for the Screenwriters worshop. A sitcom showcase, with a panel of experts commenting and audience full of producers agents etc. People got commissions and agents out of it. Without exception the ones that worked best were those who had thought through the medium and adjusted the script accordingly. When I was up for a TAPS thing likewise I had to take a full length screenplay and turn it into a fifty minute 'play'. One thing I did was invent a new character, a tramp, who sat on the stage and spoke to the audience directly, a commentator if you will, but gave him funny lines. I wanted to have him outside the studio begging as people turned up, but they wouldn't let me which was a shame. He was played by Steve Frost so he might have been recognised anyway. There are lots of things you could do, have an NSE walk to the front of the stage tear pages off a calendar and throw them at the audience. Make it funny is all would be my advice.

Quote: simon wright @ August 19 2008, 11:58 PM BST

TPTB
PS Anybody see the Family Guy double bill just now? It was brilliant.

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Family Guy is excellent, which ones were they? I think I've seen them all.

Doing these competitions help you learn all these things you've discussed. Apologies that its at Simon et al's expense.

Highlighting the most common mistakes in the guidelines might reduce them next time around. Sometimes you get so involved in your script you forget that other people will not get things if you don't tell them so.

Quote: ContainsNuts @ August 20 2008, 11:45 AM BST

Family Guy is excellent, which ones were they? I think I've seen them all.

Doing these competitions help you learn all these things you've discussed. Apologies that its at Simon et al's expense.

Highlighting the most common mistakes in the guidelines might reduce them next time around. Sometimes you get so involved in your script you forget that other people will not get things if you don't tell them so.

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I love Family Guy too but don't they speak quickly, what's that all about?

Quote: bushbaby @ August 21 2008, 4:53 PM BST

I love Family Guy too but don't they speak quickly, what's that all about?

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American.

Quote: ContainsNuts @ August 21 2008, 6:03 PM BST

American.

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right, rather like Eric in Southpark

Simon's put some scripts on his web...the one's that have been submitted for his latest...too daft to be staged thingy