Pac Man

Seeing as people are posting Tilt rejects - here's one they ignored a few weeks back:

GRAMS:NEWSNIGHT THEME TUNE

PAXMANac Man, thank you for agreeing to talk with us. The subject which everyone is talking about at the moment is your recent admission that you suffer from bulimia. How did it manifest itself?

PAC MAN: I just couldn’t stop myself eating those white dots. I would just eat and eat and eat until I felt sick. As soon as the game finished, I’d be in the bathroom throwing up.

PAXMANo after each binge on white dots you’d go force yourself to be sick due to the guilt of your overeating?

PAC MAN: I never needed to force myself to be sick. I’d throw up because I’d eaten too much due my bulimia.

PAXMANurely that’s just eating until you throw up, not actually bulimia? Some people might think that you’re using this revelation to boost sales of your memoirs which are being published next month?

PAC MAN: No, of course not. I have been struggling to hide this affliction all the time I’ve been in the public eye. People liked to make jokes about me but nobody could see that deep down inside, each dot I ate was a way of punishing myself.

PAXMANo you didn’t enjoy your food and only over ate when you were depressed or worried?

PAC MAN: Don’t get me wrong, it didn’t matter what mood I was in, bulimia made me want to eat all the time. Constantly. Non-stop.

PAXMAN:Bulimia is usually seen as an eating disorder where sufferers attempt to control their weight when they feel the rest of their life is out of control. Some people are saying that you’re not a very successful bulimic.

PAC MAN: Well I know I’m quite round and most people associate the disease with young women. I’m sure nobody would have been surprised if it had been Ms. Pac Man who was admitting to being bulimic.

PAXMAN:As I’m sure nobody would have been surprised if you’d just admitted you were a greedy, fat bastard. Pac Man, thank you.

That's a very good idea, but the length kills it.

It's way more of a reveal joke, in maybe 2-4 lines.

You could stick in extra bits on space invaders ship, to control borders policy, or john prescott as unpopular games character.

But otherwise I smiled, and found it funny as soon as I got the pacman-prescott simile.

And Pacman, Paxman is a nice audio joke, that works on the sound (you could make a racist gag on an Asian MP next, but you'd never get it on the radio).

I agree with sootyj. It made me smile when after pac man first spoke, but then it went on too long. I feel a shorter, snappier version would do it more justice.