Tilt 'liked something' about this, but didn't want to use it as there were some other Apprentice sketches on (and it seems they were inundated)
Dan
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BIG YELLOW APPRENTICE
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SIR ALAN SUGAR:
So, Nasty Jenny, who do you think should be fired?
NASTY JENNY:
Big bird, Sir Alan.
SIR ALAN:
Any particular reason?
NASTY JENNY:
Very short arms and the lack of opposable thumbs made him stroke her completely ineffective in this task, Sir Alan. A task as simple as holding the meat was impossible.
SIR ALAN:
What about you, Posh Raef? Who do you think should be fired?
POSH RAEF:
Regretfully, I also think Big Bird should be fired, Sir Alan.
SIR ALAN:
Why?
POSH RAEF:
Unfortunately, Sir Alan, and I mean no disrespect, the lions seemed to set their sights on the large, yellow bird.
SIR ALAN:
(PAUSE) Right, I’ve made my decision. Big Bird – from what Nick and Margeret have told me, you turned this task into a complete farce; a live-action Sylvester and Tweety-Pie! Not only that, but I heard your enormous yellow feathers were playing havoc with the zookeeper’s allergies! I think you’re a disgrace. (PAUSE) But Raef! You’ve shown nothing but competency and superb business acumen. A nouse for enterprising solution and an excellent ability to raise team morale. I’m concerned that if you won, you’d leach a salary from me year after year and only give me well-run projects and excellent profits in return. For that reason, Raef – *you’re* fired. Now, all of you – get out of my sight.
END