size 7 foot in mouth!

Hi Guys

This actually happened to me a few years back. Some of my friends have said it would make a great sketch. Let me know what you think. I may use it in my writing project.

Charley is working behind the bar of her local pub. It’s a new job and she is keen to impress. The pub is all but empty.

Door opens and a man with one leg lots shorter than the other shuffles in., and comes up to the bar.

CHARLEY
Hello there. What can I get you? (desperate not to show on her face she has noticed his disability)

MAN
A pint of Speckled Hen please, Oh and what bar snacks do you do?

CHARLEY
Well we have, peanuts cheddars oh and walkers.

Charley gets all flustered as she has mentioned the word walkers to a man who has trouble doing just that. Her face reddens, she stutters her left leg starts swaying, as she desperately tries to take his mind of the last comment. (She must act fast to recover)

CHARLEY
Oh and we also do crippled eggs.

Ha ha, very good!

I liked it but unfortunately between the time it happened to you and now Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant wrote something quite similar in Extras series 1 - where Maggie insults the guy with a short leg.

It seems like something Gervais would write.

ITS NOT A KNOCK OFF GUYS I PROMISE.. Anyhoo the whole thing is different from the extras sketch. Apart from the short leg bit. If i recall that sketch correctly she wanted to shag him yet was put off by the fact he wore a big shoe.
Anyhoo that sketch of mine actually happened. I would have loved to have creatively written it.

I see what you mean about it sort of being done before but the whole context is different. Sketches have always been done before in some way or other. If i write it in to my project i will put him in a weelchair so as not to remind people of extras lol....xx

I liked it. Crippled Egg line is very funny.

ha ha - that made me laugh! Some of the best comedy comes from real life embarrassment (well other people's embarrassment anyway!).

I wasn't meaning you stole it off Gervais, just that is was Gervais style humour, 'the comedy of embarrasment' I believe it is called nowadays...I think we need to move away from that now. Although 'crippled egg' is quite funny.

I definitely wasn't suggesting it was a rip-off, just a bit similar to something that was independently thought up by someone else. The big problem is that their stuff has now been seen by lots of people, so your sketch looks too similar to get done at the moment. Despite the crippled egg line.

I guess it shows that people who write comedy are often coming up with similar ideas, without it being even close to plagiarism. A few years ago in a pub I thought I'd come up with an amusing observation along the lines of a new brand of spread called "I can't believe it's not I can't believe it's not butter" and that you really couldn't believe it wasn't "I can't believe it's not butter". My companions smiled weakly and said "Yes, Vicar of Dibley". And I never even watched the Vicar of Dibley! But I have since seen the clip, and it's practically the same joke.

Damn funny, Charley! I think you should develop it further. E.g: her attempts to recover causing her more stress and accentuating her faux pas and funny walks even more. Also, to get you off planet Gervais, an unpredictable pay off, like his response to the crippled eggs line is something along the lines of 'Yeah, caught them in a hoover' to explain the funny walk.
That way it also leave s abetter taste..

Caught them in the hoover.

I see where you are coming from guys with the Gervais thing, Defo, and i know you were not saying i ripped it off.

Maybe by time i get this thing finished 2010 by the looks of it, I can use it. Those naughty men!Gervais & Merchant, Ruining it for me.

Sorry Charley. Read this a bit late.

Really funny. Well acted that would be hilarious. Pats on the back all round.

use it, You will be in ultimate control!

Hi Charley

catching up on some posts and missed this. I liked it too and thought the closing line was very good.

Reminded me of the old joke about the outside toilet, the bloke and the beautiful lady.

B

I wake up screaming from some of the things I've said and only realised afterwards - luckily I seem oblivious to a faux pas until long after, when I can't do anything about it. Thought maybe you could have rebounded off the crippled egg line:

Oh and we also do crippled eggs. Sorry ... pickled legs.

Yeah liked the sketch, It did make me recollect the Extras scene straight away but I don't think that should worry you too much. Lol and nice addition Slag.