GIRL:
Mummy, the tooth fairy didn’t come.
SALLY:
Mark?
MARK:
(Waking blearily from deep sleep) What?
SALLY:
The tooth fairy didn’t come.
MARK:
Oh shit.
SALLY:
She was coming after the football.
MARK:
Yeah.
SALLY:
But she was too pissed.
GIRL:
She likes football?
MARK:
I’ll go and look.
GIRL:
I looked Daddy.
SALLY:
She looked.
MARK:
You know, just in case ...
MARK EXITS, FOLLOWED BY GIRL, TO LOOK IN GIRL’S BEDROOM. SHORT PAUSE.
GIRL:
(Off) Mummy! She did come!
GIRL ENTERS FOLLOWED BY MARK.
GIRL (Cont/d):
Look!
GIRL SHOWS SALLY COIN.
MARK:
(Smugly) Sorted.
GIRL PRODUCES TOOTH.
GIRL:
But why didn’t she take my tooth?
SALLY:
Mark?
MARK:
Christ, I don’t know. Too bloody knackered I should think.
SALLY:
Don’t worry, love. She’ll remember next time.
GIRL:
(Pleased) She will?
MARK:
(Doubtfully) She will?
SALLY:
(Aggressively) If she values her fairy wand Mark, yes.
MARK WINCES AND INSTINCTIVELY PUTS HANDS OVER PYJAMA CROTCH.
END