British Comedy Guide

Anonymous.

A CIRCLE OF CHAIRS THE VIEW SHIFTS FROM PERSON TO PERSON

MAN

My names Bob and I'm an alcoholic

WOMAN

I'm Jane, and, and, you can do it Jane, I'm an alcoholic.

MAN IN FULL PIRATE REGALIA

Aahhh, I be in the wrong meeting.

CUT TO ROOM FULL OF PIRATES SITTING IN A CIRCLE, INCLUDING ONE ORDINARY BLOKE.

ORDINARY MAN

Look for the last time I'm not a pirate, I'm an alcoholic.

PIRATE

Aye it be denial, that ye be in.

This one came to me in a vision.

Has a Simpsons influence, me thinks!

It's ok. Would work better as a cutaway piece rather than a sketch. You know, like they do on The Simpsons.

Not a specific skit I hope!

But every one loves pirates.

Well it made me laugh.

Perhaps I'd have the pirate in the first half just looking bemused when he realises he's at the wrong meeting, then cut away to Pirates Anonymous.

May name is Sooty,

Arrgghh and I be addicted to Pirate dialogue, ye Scurvy Dogs.

Surely a highway man is just a pirate without a boat?

Reminds me of one of the scenes in the first episode of Dear John, apart from the pirates of course.

Quote: sootyj @ May 8 2008, 2:02 PM BST

Not a specific skit I hope!

Unfortunately, yes. Barney is giving his AA confession when Lisa pipes up:

LISA:
But Mister Gumble, this is a girl guide's meeting.

BARNEY:
Is it? Or is it that you people can't admit you have a problem?

Quote: Griff @ May 8 2008, 2:34 PM BST

Then 'ee must read this scurvy tome.

'Tis the buccaneer's bollocks.

Anyway, highwaymen are the new pirates.

Thanks for that link Griff, just ordered three of his books. Have got most of the Flashman series but not read any of his other stuff!

Quote: David Bussell @ June 27 2008, 11:03 AM BST

Unfortunately, yes. Barney is giving his AA confession when Lisa pipes up:

LISA:
But Mister Gumble, this is a girl guide's meeting.

BARNEY:
Is it? Or is it that you people can't admit you have a problem?

It's strucutrally different, and features Pirates.

Everything with Pirates is ok.

Quote: sootyj @ June 27 2008, 1:14 PM BST

It's strucutrally different, and features Pirates.

Everything with Pirates is ok.

Maybe in your mind.

Seriously though, with that ending it's nigh on the same joke.

Ah well, back in the drawer with this one.

Quote: Griff @ June 27 2008, 11:17 AM BST

GMF is pretty much my hero. I met him once, too, and he was a lovely chap.

I'm actually halfway through Flashman and the Redskins as we speak. Off to sit in the garden and take a page or two.

Quote: Griff @ June 27 2008, 11:17 AM BST

GMF is pretty much my hero. I met him once, too, and he was a lovely chap.

I love all his books, except, I am afraid, Pyrates. I have not yet read Reivers and am really looking forward to it, but also putting off reading it because I know that that's it, there are no more to come... :(

I do like sootys satires.

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