A DIRTY TRAMP (SITTING ON THE PAVEMENT AND DRINKING CIDER)IS TRYING TO BEG FROM A MAN IN A PIN STRIPED SUIT.
TRAMP
Spare some change geezer, my family were kidnapped by aliens, and I need to buy a space shuttle to go get 'em.
SUIT
You're lying, you'll just spend it on more cheap cider. If you didn't spend your life drinking, you could be a merchant banker, with a loving wife, and two lovely children like me.
TRAMP
Fair cop geezer, sound like you have the sweet life, don'cha.
SUIT
Well my job it's pretty dull, and soulless. As soulless as my wife's eyes as she lays motionless tolerating my Xmas, and Birthday intercourse. And my daughters, just see me as the grey man who buys ponies.
TRAMP
Oh can't be all bad geezer, at least your not stuck out on your bum all day, with nothing but cheap cider for company.
SUIT
You know I've always wanted to know what that stuff tastes like, may I?
OFFERS TRAMP A £10 NOTE, TAKES BOTTLE AND HAS A SMALL SIP, THEN A BIGGER ONE, THEN IS JUST GULPING.
SUIT
Oh I say, I never thought something so wrong could taste so right. It's like piss flavoured happiness, but now I'm all dizzy, and a bit sleepy.
TRAMP
Well sit on the pavement geezer.
SUIT
But it's cold, and hard.
TRAMP
Well sit on the cardboard, we'll wrap some newspapers round ya geezer, keep you nice and warm.
THE SUIT SITS DOWN
THE NEXT DAY.
SUIT IS NOW ON THE PAVEMENT SURROUNDED BY EMPTY CIDER BOTTLES, LIKE A PROPER TRAMP.
SUIT
Spare some change geezer, Superman's asked me for a scrap, and I need to buy some kryptonite.