1. SECRETARY: 'Bad news about the origami firm sir. They've folded.'
2.Pallbearers wanted for naturists funeral. Must have three arms.
3.Obesity kills - Plump for a short life.
4. Don't French kiss an evangelical, they'll speak in tongues.
5. Bloke comes home from work and catches his wife in bed with another man. The wife says 'you never gave me any attention.' The husband says 'do you know where the remote is?'