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WOMEN BEING INTERVIEWED BY 2 JOURNALISTS.

JOURNALIST1

So your evil, depraved father kept you locked in a cellar, for 24 years?

WOMAN

Yes

JOURNALIST1

And forced you into performing humiliating acts, and acts of gross sexual humiliation.

WOMAN

Yes it was horrible.

JOURNALIST2

That sounds awful, you must have suffered so much, but one question.

WOMAN

What?

JOURNALIST2

Can you pretend you were in a fictional popgroup called Kandifloss? Cos if you can you're the first contestant for Big Brother 2008.

Hmmmm, yeah - may have some mileage. I'd have ended it slightly differently:

JOURNALIST: Look on the bright side - at least you avoided eight years of Big Brother.

(or something like that)

"And forced you into performing humiliating acts, and acts of gross sexual humiliation."

I'd re-write that line.

Maybe soften it a touch, but I think it needs to sting still.

Thanks Tuumble, it some how seems to flow better, with them recruiting for BB, maybe that's just me.

Liked it

Quote: sootyj @ April 28 2008, 12:14 PM BST

Maybe soften it a touch, but I think it needs to sting still.

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I meant its structure - you use humiliation and act both twice resulting in a bit of a clumsy line.

Ahh point taken, I have at times a slightly industrial prose.

I think it might work better if the twist was that she had actually been in some sick new version of Big Brother, rather than being recruited for an upcoming one.

Ok that's 2 people whove said that maybe's its the better way.

Yeah. I think maybe I'd end it with something like "And what are your plans now you've been voted out of the Big Brother house?"

Quote: Afinkawan @ April 28 2008, 1:21 PM BST

Yeah. I think maybe I'd end it with something like "And what are your plans now you've been voted out of the Big Brother house?"

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I like that

...but what do I know?