No cure

PERSON STANDING ON STAGE, NODS SADLY IN RESPONSE TO VO

VO

Have you recently been diagnosed with cancer?

NODS

Only 75% chance Chemotherapy can save you?

NODS

Well why not try an experimental Cancer treatment you bought off the Internet? We've got drugs that didn't pass pharmaceutical treatment, toxic doses of caffeine, or any old crap we can palm off on the desperate and scared.

PERSON

But will it a 100% prevent me from dying of cancer?

VO

100% the cancer won't kill you, we will!

Very good. Needs rewording slightly but it works for me. Although with my record that probably means you should rewrite the skit completely.

Acch I wouldn't worry about, I've had more duff skits, than the queens had worthless progeny.

I think it's good, but maybe get rid of the "we will"?

(wait... Just ignore me, I can't even write sketches!)