Nuclear Jones

A COUPLE (TIM AND JEN) ARE TALKING

TIM

Those bloody Jones's they think they're so bloody good, well they're not, they're just jealous of us, that's why they're always competing.

JEN

Yes dear.

TIM

I bought a Lexus, so they bought a Mercedes.

JEN

Yes dear.

TIM

I paid for you to have a boob job . And they paid to have his cock widened and her minge narrowed.

JEN

Oh look dear, it's that nice Mr Kim he's working on their shed. He's from North Korea, he's ever so handy.

TIM

Hang on North Korea? That's no shed, it's a Graphite, high production Nuclear reactor.

JEN

Oooh is that to power their new BBQ.

TIM

No you stupid ninny, the Jone's have only gone and got the bomb. They're so competative they've made our race nuclear. Those North Korean's will sell Nuclear Technology to anyone, including chavs.

JEN

Oh dear, will we have to go nuclear now? Only the cat won't like it, having to bury it's business alongside our nuclear waste dump.

TIM

Not to worry love.

GETS OUT HIS PHONE

Hello is that Yellow Pages, can I have a number for the Israeli embassy.

There's a good idea in there but it's a bit ABC at the moment. Too linear, too obvious and no real gags or punchline.

I think you need to come at it from a different angle.

kjs

Yuh probably right, i tend to sitck up the bare bones ideas. In this case I rather liked the idea of North Korea being so morally bankrupt, they'd sell the bomb to Hyacinth Bucket.

Mmmm... at the moment it comes across as two posh people bing annoyed that there neighbours can afford it rather than who they're buying it from.

I've had a think and if you want I can PM you an angle that might work Tilt wise...

kjs

Post it up for all to see, I'm not prissy!

Okay...

Make it an insistent cold caller, ringing the couple...

If I can just take a few moments of your time... Are you thinking of making any home improvements.... Have you ever considered the advantages of... We have representatives in your area next Thursday... etc..

kjs

Aaah now that's interesting, North Korea advertising nuclear weapons?

We'll sell Armageddon to any one.

Hmm now that is a good angle.

Quote: sootyj @ April 26 2008, 11:14 PM BST

TIM

I paid for you to have a boob job . And they paid to have his cock widened and her minge narrowed.

View original

That line was so vulgar, that I very nearly stopped reading the whole thing!

I carried on though and agree with Mr KJ, nice idea but needs a different angle.

If you take away the topical element for a moment, I think the premise of two increasingly competitive neighbours escalating the purchase of lifestyle apparel into nuclear armament is amusing enough in its own right.