I'm a bit embarrased by this one. Do you think there's any chance of this being Tilted? It needs a quick rewrite, but what about the general gist?
Woman: A recent study has shown that Britons spend up to 36 years of their adult life sat on their backside. I’m joined by Doctor Smitz to discuss the impact this is having on the NHS. Hello, Doctor.
Doctor: Hello.
Woman: First of all, what do you think is causing this ‘posterior dependence’?
Doctor: It’s caused by the very debilitating condition we know as… laziness.
Woman: And at what age does this condition start to develop?
Doctor: Just after the moment of conception.
Woman: So it’s a genetic condition.
Doctor: Yes, especially if one of the parents are Scottish.
Woman: And what health risks are associated with this bottom lifestyle?
Doctor: It’s mostly wear and tear to the cheeks.
Woman: And this is where it’s really hitting the NHS isn’t it?
Doctor: (SIGHS) Yes, the amount of derriere transplants has rocketed over the last few years, but the amount of buttocks we have in storage is dangerously low.
Woman: So there’s potentially a ‘butt crisis’ brewing.
Doctor: In more ways than one.
Woman: Thank you, Dr Smitz, and may I just add that if you have any spare buttocks lying around the house, please take them down to your local hospital.
ENDS
