A couple of quickies - because I'm bored

Probably all rubbish - thought of them in a rather dull meeting this afternoon.

The society for the blind is keen to sign up more members, but they might struggle until they find a a leader with vision.

I went to a charity auction last night. I got outbid on OXFAM, but bought MENCAP for £25

I love my girlfriend, but we don’t see eye to eye on sex. She loves 69s, while I prefer doing it doggy style

My girlfriend isn't a fan of S&M and hates being bound and gagged, but she's willing to suffer in silence.

(err - I'm not a perve, honest)

Now you've made ME bored too.

Not my cup of tea some seem a bit Tim Vine (I'm not a fan), these are the type of jokes I tend to leave... but if you're bored never know see if anyone else likes em

You could shorten them & still keep the joke, i.e.

I went to a charity auction last night. I bought Oxfam.

My girlfriend and I don't see eye-to-eye on sex. She likes 69.

etc. Steven Wright-style stuff.

Agree with Bad Dog. Perfectly good jokes that work better as one-liners.

Quote: Paul W @ April 11 2008, 4:24 PM BST

Not my cup of tea some seem a bit Tim Vine (I'm not a fan), these are the type of jokes I tend to leave... but if you're bored never know see if anyone else likes em

View original

I like Tim Vine, so that's a compliment of sorts!

Quote: DIKTURNIP @ April 11 2008, 4:23 PM BST

Now you've made ME bored too.

View original

Oh dear. Not still annoyed at my McCann joke are you?

Vendettas on a comedy forum - how amusing.

Barbs did you used to hang around scriptreader?

No. What's that?

Quote: Barbs @ April 11 2008, 4:58 PM BST

Oh dear. Not still annoyed at my McCann joke are you?

View original

Which one of the 5 million is he offended with?

Just a script reading forum Barbs. Made me smile.

I suppose the clue was in the title!

Thanks - I know they could be tighter, but you try writing comedy while talking about the strategic development of BBC iPlayer.

Actually, the charity one was quite good. Bin the rest though.

You could use these for a best man speech...maybe.