Knight Sketch

Here's another quick sketch I've done. Let me know what you think. Thanks.

TWO KNIGHTS (ON HORSES) APPROACH EACH OTHER. THEY ARE SURROUNDED BY HUNDREDS OF DEAD BODIES.

1st Knight
(GETS OFF HORSE) And so the end is here, after the death of 300 of my men and 300 of your men we must battle to see who will victor.

2nd Knight
(GETS OFF HORSE) Yes, 600 dead Knights, and it comes down to us two, one of us must die for the cause.

1st Knight
Yes, 600 dead (LOOKS AROUND), now the number of deaths in this brutal battle must rise by one.

2nd Knight
It must, one of us will have to be put to death and and therefore never see the light of day again.

(2ND KNIGHT PULLS OUT HIS SWORD AND WALKS TOWARDS THE 1ST KNIGHT)

1st Knight
Hang on, we haven't finished with the massive dramatic build up yet. And anyway, do you really want to die?

2nd Knight
Phew! Bloody hell! I don't fancy being brutally murdered today, not in the mood I suppose, anyway, do you want to call it a draw?

1st Knight
Deffo, lets call it a day and go for a pint. Apparently there's a lock in at the Dog and Bone pub. And if you want, we can settle the dispute with an old game passed down by generations of brave Knights.

2nd Knight
Yeah, what's that?

1st Knight
Rock, paper, scissors.

2nd Knight
Brilliant. (LAUGHS) Lets go.

(BOTH MEN WALK OFF TOGETHER AND TIP TOE OVER THE DEAD BODIES)

lol bit of a bump here. Dunno if bumping is allowed but I've just done it. lol I'm a bloody maverick. Seriously though, what do you think?

Hi Paul,

I get it but it seems to lose the atmosphere you've built up when you have the character change. It also becomes very wordy and appears clumsy.

Sorry.

Fair enough Gary, thanks for the feedback mate

Quote: Griff @ April 11 2008, 5:36 PM BST

This joke would work brilliantly as a cartoon: "After the carnage the surviving knights knew there was only one way to decide victory" with a picture of dead bodies everywhere and two knights in the middle of a rock, paper, scissors game.

But as a sketch, the buildup feels far too long for the punchline.

View original

Yep, that works for me Griff.

Thanks for the feedback Griff, I'll work on this and see if I can improve it. If not I'll just leave it. Anyway, thanks for the feedback mate.

Here's a (hopefully) improved version, I've tried to shorten the build up.

TWO KNIGHTS (ON HORSES) APPROACH EACH OTHER. THEY ARE SURROUNDED BY HUNDREDS OF DEAD BODIES.

1st Knight
(GETS OFF HORSE) And so the end is here, after the death of 300 of my men and 300 of your men we must battle to see who will victor.

2nd Knight
(GETS OFF HORSE) Yes, 600 dead Knights, and it comes down to us two, one of us must die for the cause.

1st Knight
Yes, 600 dead (LOOKS AROUND), now the number of deaths in this brutal battle must rise by one.

2nd Knight
It must, one of us will have to be put to death and and therefore never see the light of day again.

(2ND KNIGHT PULLS OUT HIS SWORD AND WALKS TOWARDS THE 1ST KNIGHT)

1st Knight
Hang on, we haven't finished with the massive dramatic build up yet. And anyway, do you really want to die?

2nd Knight
Phew! Bloody hell! I don't fancy being brutally murdered today, not in the mood I suppose, anyway, do you want to call it a draw?

1st Knight
No way, after all this carnage and death I believe there is only one way to settle this dispute.

2nd Knight
How?

1st Knight
Rock, paper, scissors?