Car Park Sketch

Ext. Top level of Multi Story car park

A man is stood on the edge of the car park. Man 2 is edging towards him.

Man: Don't come any closer!

Man 2: I just want to chat.

Man: Don't try and talk me down!

Man 2: I'm not going to.

Man 2 is now level with the man.

Man 2: I just need some change for the meter.

Man: What?!

Man 2: I've only got a fiver you see.

Man: For Christ's sake! I'm about to jump off the roof!

Man 2: I know, I know, but have you got five ones?

Man: (GRUMBLES) I'll have a look.

The man starts fishing about in his pockets. He loses his footing and falls off the edge. Man 2 looks over the edge.

Man 2: Shit.

Man 2 turns round. The camera shot shows a traffic warden putting a ticket on a car. The camera shot goes back to man 2.

Man 2: SHIT!

Man 2 runs towards the car.

ENDS

I liked that. My only gripe is a Traffic Warden in a Multi-storey car park..? I know it's for comedic effect etc but it doesn't feel right...

kjs

That's a good point. They don't usually patrol them do they. I've been in multistorey ones which are council run, but they're usually NCP aren't they.

I liked this a lot. The only thing I would add is for Man 1 to say, "I've only got a twenty" and for Man 2 to say something like, "That's fine. What are you going to use it for?"

And you're going to need a way to work around that warden thing too.

You could have someone getting ready to tow/clamp the car...

kjs

Quote: KJSmyling @ April 9 2008, 2:24 PM BST

You could have someone getting ready to tow/clamp the car...

kjs

View original

Yes, because he's parked in a disabled bay. He's five pounds short of paying them off.

Many heads make.... some sort of punchline...

kjs

just had a beautiful image of a man reaching out to take a twenty as the other man slowly falls backwards.

He falls off the ledge just as he was about to grab the note.

man: 'tuts' Typical.

Yeah I had a similar idea to that, Waring.

The man on the edge does actually have change for the fiver. He takes the fiver and as he goes to give the change to man 2, he falls backwards. Man 2 says "Cheeky bastard" and jumps over the edge after him.

Or maybe this:

Ext. Top level of Multi Story car park

A man is stood on the edge of the car park. Man 2 is edging towards him.

Man: Don't come any closer!

Man 2: I just want a word.

Man: What d'you want?!

Man 2 is now level with the man.

Man 2: I need some change for the meter.

Man: What?!

Man 2: I've only got a fiver you see.

Man: Aren't you gonna try and stop me jumping?!

Man 2: Hey, I don't like to interfere. Now, have you got five ones?

Man: (GRUMBLES) I'll have a look.

The man starts fishing about in his pockets. He pulls out some change and counts it.

Man: Yes. I have.

Man 2: Great.

Man 2 hands the note over to the man. The man goes to hand the change over to Man 2, but loses his footing and falls off the edge.

Man 2: Oy! Come back!

Man 2 leaps over the edge.

ENDS

Quote: KJSmyling @ April 9 2008, 1:58 PM BST

I liked that. My only gripe is a Traffic Warden in a Multi-storey car park..? I know it's for comedic effect etc but it doesn't feel right...

kjs

View original

Yeah this is true. Maybe you could have man 1 jump off and then man 2 discovers he does actually have some pound coins in a back pocket and then shouts down to man 1 "Oh your alright, I've just found some change, thanks anyway."

WL, this sketch is genius. Stick with the first version.

Slight alteration?

Man 2: I just need some change for the meter.

Man: What?!

Man 2: I've only got a fiver.

Man: For Christ's sake! I'm about to jump off the roof!

Man 2: (SOLEMN) I know, I know. (PAUSE) Have you got five ones?

Man: (GRUMBLES) I'll have a look.

And then when he falls Man 2 says 'shit' but we then realise it's only because he's got a ticket. So just the one 'shit'.

The traffic warden can just be a parking attendant. Problem solved.

Brilliant sketch in any case. If you haven't succeeded already, you will pretty soon with work of this quality.

Do they have parking attendants though? Multi Storeys are usually barrier operated, so they don't need people going round.

It's a shame, as otherwise, this would be a very sharp sketch.

Are you disowning it?

Not yet! Unless you wanna make me an offer...

Quote: Winterlight @ April 12 2008, 6:35 PM BST

Do they have parking attendants though? Multi Storeys are usually barrier operated, so they don't need people going round.

It's a shame, as otherwise, this would be a very sharp sketch.

View original

The Multi-storey is full & the man has been obliged to park at a meter in the road outside.