Psychic Speed Dating

David Bussell gave me the premise of 'Seance Speed Dating' and I came up with this:

Int. Corridor

A door is shown with a notice stuck to it which reads "Psychic Speed Dating".

Cut To: Int. Community Centre Room. Continuous

Several psychics are sat opposite various men and women at individual tables. The camera focuses on one couple, a woman and a female psychic.

Woman: So, you channel a spirit and if we don't click, we move on?

Psychic: Yes!

Woman: Ok, lets start.

The psychic starts waving her arms about and goes into a trance like state.

Psychic: (MALE VOICE) Hello! I'm the spirit of Old Man Willoughby and I'd love to take you haunting.

Woman: I don't really like haunting. Can we move on?

Psychic: (MALE VOICE) Bonjour! Je m'appalle la spirite du-

Woman: Une moment, sil vous plait! Parlez vous anglais?

Psychic: (MALE VOICE) Non.

Woman: It'd never work, can I see the next one?

Psychic: (FEMALE VOICE) Hi there, sexy! I really like your eyes-

Woman: Next!

Psychic: (MALE VOICE) Hi Lucy. It's Dad!

Woman: Dad! I'm trying to speed date!

Psychic: (MALE VOICE) (SAD) I only wanted to say hello.

Woman: Well now you have! Next!

Psychic: (MALE VOICE) Hi! I'm the spirit of Danny Power.

Woman: (INTERESTED) Hello?

Psychic: (MALE VOICE) Hey there!

Woman: We're not related are we?

Psychic: (MALE VOICE) Not that I know of.

Woman: And you're not female are you?

Psychic: (MALE VOICE) (LAUGHS) No, no!

Woman: And you're not French?

Psychic: (MALE VOICE) As English as oak.

Woman: Haunting?

Psychic: (MALE VOICE) I abhor it.

Woman: Interesting.

Psychic: (MALE VOICE) Never liked it one bit and... wait... did you say hunting?

Woman: No. Haunting.

Psychic: (MALE VOICE) Oh I love haunting!

Woman: (SIGHS) Next.

ENDS

I apologise if my French is off.

I really like this, and it's an entirely different direction than I would have taken it. Love the name Old Man Willoughby. Love her dad turning up.

A couple of changes I'd make. For instance, repeating the line...

"The psychic starts waving her arms about and goes into a trance like state."

...the same way every time makes for a very monotonous read.

And I'd like to see the "Hi sexy" ghost drop a sleazier chat up line.

Other than that, well done indeed. I look forward to tossing you the next one.

I'll edit out the monotonous lines. I guess they are a little unnecessary.

I think the "Hi Sexy!" one is enough. The fact it's a woman spirit means she's not suitable.

Right. I didn't pick up on it being a woman's voice. Like most people I scan right by parenthesis. To counteract that you could have the psychic being a man and adopting a woman's voice only when channeling the female spirit.