This one was inspired by Winterlight, who suggested youths gatecrashing a wake as a setup. I went a slightly different way. Comments appreciated.
INT. LOUNGE – DAY
A WAKE. MOURNERS CONSOLE THE WIDOW.
THE PHONE RINGS AND GOES STRAIGHT TO ANSWERPHONE. THE MESSAGE IS BROADCAST LOUD ENOUGH FOR ALL TO HEAR.
MAN: (O.O.V.)
Hello, Peter - how are you, you old bugger! I wanted you to know I’ve been thinking about you non-stop since the weekend. We had some fun didn’t we? You’ll never fit that up there I said, but you bloody well did! I thought we’d have to get the jaws of life to get that pepper mill out!
A MOURNER EDGES AWAY FROM THE BUFFET TABLE. THE WIDOW BURSTS INTO HYSTERICS.
MAN: (O.O.V.)
Anyway, give us a call before your wife gets back in town, and don’t forget to delete your messages, you silly sausage!
CUT TO:
INT. KITCHEN – CONTINUOUS
ON THE OTHER END OF THE LINE, THE MAN REPLACES THE PHONE. A WOMAN ENTERS, SURPRISING HIM.
WOMAN:
Who was that, honey?
MAN:
Just a wrong number.
WOMAN:
Oh.
SHE LEAVES.
MAN
(TO SELF)
That could have been embarrassing…