I admit there isn't much to laugh at on the way, but don't you find the punch funny? A derelict man realising his one chance to change his life has resulted in him owning a Rubik's cube? That isn't amusing to you, or at least so tragic you have to laugh?
I find the dopey kid quite hilarious too.
Right. What's not funny about ADD?
Loved it, dont change it!
Quote: David Bussell @ April 9 2008, 10:36 AM BSTI admit there isn't much to laugh at on the way, but don't you find the punch funny? A derelict man realising his one chance to change his life has resulted in him owning a Rubik's cube? That isn't amusing to you, or at least so tragic you have to laugh?
>That isn't amusing to you, or at least so tragic you have to laugh?
Not really, it's too obvious. Now if you can make it something like: he realises that he is in a house built like a Rubic Cube and he looks out of the window and he is on an estate in which all the houses look like Rubic Cubes...that would be funny.
If you want to see what can really be done with Time Travel twists, read an SF story called "All you Zombies" by Robert Heinleim.
Quote: billwill @ April 9 2008, 4:18 PM BST>That isn't amusing to you, or at least so tragic you have to laugh?
Not really, it's too obvious. Now if you can make it something like: he realises that he is in a house built like a Rubic Cube and he looks out of the window and he is on an estate in which all the houses look like Rubic Cubes...that would be funny.
I appreciate the suggestion but cheefully disagree.
That's a nice surreal ending, Bill, but I don't think it's a logical conclusion for the sketch.
Quote: Winterlight @ April 9 2008, 4:32 PM BSTThat's a nice surreal ending, Bill, but I don't think it's a logical conclusion for the sketch.
Well I did say "something like"
As it stands its a nice short-short sad story, but it isn't really a sketch.
Quote: billwill @ April 9 2008, 4:39 PM BSTWell I did say "something like"
As it stands its a nice short-short sad story, but it isn't really a sketch.
What can I say - it made me laugh!