Cooking with Delia

COOKING WITH DELIA

INTRO MUSIC

DELIA:
Sometimes when you've been working hard you want a nice meal, but don't want to cook for hours. This recipe is perfect. I call it my Caesar surprise.

Start by putting six anchovies in a bowl, don't bother to rinse the brine off. Season with a little salt. To add the crouton crunch, mix in a packet of ready salted crisps and half a bag of salted peanuts. Next you need the cheese.

A good Caesar salad should have Parmesan, but that requires effort. Effort to find it in the supermarket and effort to grate it. Far easier is to use processed cheese slices, the ones you get in a cheeseburger are perfect. Just cut into little chunks and throw in.

Don't worry – it's nearly done. Season with cheap, viscous salad dressing and, if you can be bothered, add a leaf or two or pre washed, pre salted, bagged salad.

To accompany, serve with creamy Smash and a side bowl of pretzels.

To make it extra special for the man in your life, serve with Saki in a romantically lit room. Later on he might treat you to one more salty surprise.

Isn't posting cathartic. As soon as I posted this I went off it.

Too crude.

Just ditch the last sentence, I was laughing all the way through the rest.

I liked it, but why saki? Am I missing the point?

I think saki is very salty - or at least it came up when I put salty drink into google.

I'm torn now - I had 3 sketches for Tilt and this was a huge outsider, but it is topical...

Have drunk saki and I cant say that my lasting memory was that it was salty, more that it is served warm. Why not just replace the saki with a pint of brine?

I would still submit it to Tilt though as, despite their own brief, not everything is as topical and current on the show as I was expecting.

Funny stuff I liked the ending.

In the news yesterday, what could be more topical?