Int. School corridor
A teacher is showing a crowd of parents round the school.
Teacher: And that’s why it, quite literally, pays to teach!
The parents chuckle. The teacher stops and faces the parents.
Teacher: Now, any questions?
Parent 1: How d’you deal with troublesome pupils?
Teacher: We take a very natural approach.
Parent 1: What d’you mean?
Teacher: Observe.
The teacher walks over to a classroom and opens the door.
Teacher: Timpkins. Out here, now!
A schoolboy – Timpkins - enters the corridor.
Timpkins: Yeah what?
Teacher: What is my mother?
Timpkins: (LAUGHS) She’s a dirty fat lezza!
Teacher: RIGHT! Get in the punishment room.
Timpkins: What?!
Teacher: GET IN THERE!
The teacher pushes Timpkins through a door marked punishment. The sound of wild, crazy apes are heard echoing in the ‘punishment’ room. Timpkins is screaming. The noise stops. The door opens and out walks Timpkins. He is white as a sheet and his hair is standing on end. He staggers up to the teacher.
Teacher: Now, Timpkins, what is my mother?
Timpkins starts hugging the teachers leg.
Timpkins: (WHISPERS) Hold me…. Hold me….
The teacher looks at the parents. The parents smile approvingly.
Parent 1: Bravo.
ENDS