Last of summer wine

Just an idea based on the Lib Dem leader. I expect to be overwhelemd with indifference.

COMPO: So who was it this time?

CLEGG: Betty

COMPO (DISTANT): From the allotment? So how many is that then?

CLEGG: A gentleman never says

COMPO: 5?

CLEGG: No

COMPO: 10?

CLEGG: I'm not saying

COMPO: 20?

CLEGG: Shush

COMPO: 30

CLEGG: Yes, yes. Alright. Something like that. Between 25 and 30.

COMPO: You sly old dog. Ut oh. Here comes Foggy and he doesn't look happy.

FOGGY: What's going on here. Why are you chatting when you still haven't fitted the outboard motor to that push bike and taken it to the top of the grassy hill?

COMPO: We got distracted after taking the brakes off. Clegg was just saying he's shagged 30 birds. Not many is it?

FOGGY: Not many? Not many? It's blanny disgusting. What have you got to say for yourself Clegg?

CLEGG: Oh I don't know. I can't win, can I. One says 30 is too high, the other too low. I suppose you're right, it's too low to be a playboy, too high to be virtuous. It's the classical liberal problem of falling between two stools. How ironic. Now, if you'll excuse me gentlemen I have a date with Nora Batty.

COMPO: Bastard

Amusing but not LOL

You'd probably get a laugh for 'Bastard' alone though so I shouldn't worry.

One thing - I'd make it a bath and not a push bike. That would make it classic LOTSW territory.

Hmm not a bad idea, but I don't think you talk it all the way.

Now Nick Clegg as a member of The Last of the Summer Wine crew, thats an idea with long legs.