Moseley

MAX MOSELEY IS ON STAGE BEING FLOGGED BY A BORED PROSTITUE.

MAX
Just because I Max Moseley son of a fascist leader, likes to dress up as a nazi, and check prostitutes dressed as inmates for lice, before flogging them. Doesn't make me an antisemite or a weirdo.

PROSTITUTE
No love course it doesn't

MAX
Achtung you shvein hund, I pay you for whacking, not slacking.

MAX'S MOBILE RINGS AND HE ANSWERS IT

MAX
You want to offer me a job, you need a right wing, sadistic nutcase, with no morals. Thanks David Cameron, I'll be the new Conservative Chief Whip.

I didn't know who Max Moseley was when I read it so I didn't really do much for me.

The punchline featured way too much exposition.

It's a bizarre news story in my opinion, so I expect there's room for some humour in it.

Son of Britain's 1930s notorious fascist MP. Head of F1 racing in this country and got caught last week, having a nazi themed S&M session, a big one!

Hmm trimmed down would the punch work?

MAX MOSELEY IS ON STAGE BEING FLOGGED BY A BORED PROSTITUE.

MAX
Just because I Max Moseley son of a fascist leader, likes to dress up as a nazi, and check prostitutes dressed as inmates for lice, before flogging them. Doesn't make me an antisemite or a weirdo.

PROSTITUTE
No love course it doesn't

MAX
Achtung you shvein hund, I pay you for whacking, not slacking.

MAX'S MOBILE RINGS AND HE ANSWERS IT

MAX
You need an amoral, nazi, sadist, I’m your man.

MAX HANGS UP

MAX
Hooray I’m the Conservative chief whip, celebration all round, buy some champagne.

PROSTITUE
I’ll get the glasses.

MAX
Don’t be stupid I want you to shove it up my arse, achtung raus raus1

Wasn't his dad the one who wrote that catchy little number 'We Must Get Rid of The Yids'?
Second take is much better. But, by the way, it's 'schweinhund'