British Comedy Guide

Heston 2

CHARLTON IS LYING IN BED, A NURSE BRINGS HIM A BOWL

NURSE1
Look Mr Heston, one of your friends has brought you a present, it's fruit.

CHARLTON
What kind of fruit is it?

NURSE1
It's oh dear it's nothing Mr Heston.

CHARLTON
Damn it woman what kind of fruit is it.

NURSE1
It's grapes.

CHARLTON
Damn you, you damn dirty grapes.

NURSE1
Don't excite yourself Mr Heston.

SECOND NURSE WALKS IN WEARING A TIARA AND CARRYING AN ICECREAM
Look Mr Heston the NRA has sent you a tiara, and a mr whippy.

SHE TRIPS AND FALLS TO HER KNEE LOOKING RATHER LIKE THAT ICONIC SHOT OF THE END OF PLANET OF THE APES.

CHARLTON
Damn you, damn you all to hell

NURSE1
Calm down Mr Heston.

CHARLTON DIES

NURSE1
Oh dear he would appear to have died.

NURSE2
Can I get a grape?

CHARLTON SITS BOLT UPRIGHT

CHARLTON
From my cold dead hands!

This was too clunky for me and felt forced.

I liked the Gates of Heaven idea better.

Yeh I thought so, I'll go with the original

Yeah agree with WL, it needs a bit of cleaning up but I reckon it could work with a re-write and some editing.

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