All's Well...

ALL’S WELL…

INT: NEWSAGENT. AM. MAN IS SHOP SIDE OF COUNTER. ASIAN NEWSAGENT IS OTHER SIDE. AN ELDERLY WOMAN IS QUEUING BEHIND THE MAN.

MAN: Morning Gupta. Usual please.

'GUPTA' REACHES DOWN BELOW THE COUNTER AND BRINGS UP A BROWN PAPER PACKET AND A RUBBER MALLET. HE SLIDES THE PACKET ACROSS THE COUNTER TO MAN AND AS HE DOES SO HE STRIKES HIS 'SLIDING' HAND WITH THE MALLET.

GUPTA: Nngahh! There you are Mr Alan, sir. £4.80 please.

MAN:Thanks Gupta.

THE MAN PLACES THE CORRECT MONEY ON THE COUNTER AND TURNS AND EXITS. THE ELDERLY WOMAN IS SHOCKED BY WHAT SHE HAS JUST SEEN.

WOMAN:Why on earth did you do that?

GUPTA:Well, you see Mrs Johnstone, I am a Muslim and I cannot profit from another mans sins and the content of that packet was, shall we say, rather inappropriate so I am inflicting pain to myself as punishment for selling it.

WOMAN:I’ve never seen anything like it in all my years! (Indignant) I’ll just take my hubby’s paper please.

GUPTA PICKS UP A ‘SUN’ AND FOLDS THE PAPER AND SLIDES IT ACROSS THE COUNTER TO THE WOMAN AND AS HE DOES SO HE STRIKES HIS 'SLIDING' HAND WITH THE MALLET.

Now thats a good idea, infact it's a very original funny, good ideas
but a few thoughts
Gupta is a Hindu not a Muslim name usually
Scourging, e.g. with whips is something some shiite muslims actually do
The sun is a bit obvious, try The Daily Mail (cos it's evil), mars bar (it's got veins and looks like a willy)

Quote: sootyj @ April 6 2008, 8:46 AM BST

Now thats a good idea, infact it's a very original funny, good ideas
but a few thoughts
Gupta is a Hindu not a Muslim name usually

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Gupta derived from neo-Brahminism. With their advent began the slide of India into casteism and the dark ages which immediately preceded the Islamist Liberation.

Quote: sootyj @ April 6 2008, 8:46 AM BST

The Daily Mail (cos it's evil),

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Evil?!

Quote: sootyj @ April 6 2008, 8:46 AM BST

mars bar (it's got veins and looks like a willy)

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Only you!

Cheers.

Yes evil, it was voted the favourite read by the Axis of Evil.

You can see a copy in Darth Vader's pod in Empire Strikes Back

but the Sun is a bit too similar to porn for the joke to work really well, and it is a good joke.

Quote: sootyj @ April 6 2008, 2:14 PM BST

Yes evil, it was voted the favourite read by the Axis of Evil.

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Really? When? And where can I find this fact?
Cheers.

Quote: sootyj @ April 6 2008, 2:14 PM BST

You can see a copy in Darth Vader's pod in Empire Strikes Back

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I'll have to look out for this!

Quote: sootyj @ April 6 2008, 2:14 PM BST

but the Sun is a bit too similar to porn for the joke to work really well, and it is a good joke.

View original

That is the point of the joke (imho).
I feel your suggestion re the Daily Mail may be too complicated for general consumption (as opposed to highly politically aware folk such as yourself, sootyj). Although it may fit in that genre it's not meant to be satirical, rather just humourous (hopefully!).