NEWS READER
It is with great sadness that we report Prince Philip is dead. He apparently never recovered from last weeks visit by Nicolas Sarkozy, when Carla Bruni picked a pencil up from the floor infront of Philip.
Prince Philip, international statesman, loyal husband, and loving father.
SOMEONE HANDS NEWS READER A CARD
Bloody hell, you mean the lecherous, racist, brake snipping old bugger is still alive?
SOME ONE HAND'S HIM ANOTHER CARD
It is with great regret, we report the queen is dead....is the most popular Smith's album of all time. That's it I'm off down the pub.
