Have I Got News For You - Series 35 Page 4

I'd probably say Rimbaud the musical, and he can have the role of the evil Russian comandante.

Was that my most intellectually coherent gag ever?

Quote: Griff @ April 14 2008, 8:16 PM BST

I live in Oxfordshire where as any fule kno Boris is the MP for Henley-on-Thames.

Does anyone know if Boris will have to resign the whip if he becomes London Mayor ? Is the newt fancier still MP for the People's Republic of Brent while simultaneously pursuing his other aspirations ? (ie whisky and mistresses, making him a far more interesting character than previously suspected.)

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Yes he will, it was always an issue.

Some might say DC has found a convenient way of getting rid of a popular pain in the bum.

God bless our brawling, shagging, boozing, bastard acknowledging alpha male mayor. If he wasn't mayor he'd be the new Che Gueverra, overthrowing the despotic regimes of Dorset, and the Isle of White.

Ah you watched it good stuff, fun isn't it!

Quote: manchester's trendy chorlton @ April 14 2008, 3:17 PM BST

racist biggot? old-boys network ignoramus? attention seeking, plastic politician? poster-boy for right-wing apologists? fat faced twat?

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Quote: manchester's trendy chorlton @ April 14 2008, 2:56 PM BST

Boris Johnson is an abolute cock, a dreadful human being. I have no doubt though that he will be back on HIGNFY, desperately begging for attention (and money) as soon as he loses the election. That is all.

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With any luck, he won't lose.

Quote: manchester's trendy chorlton @ April 14 2008, 4:13 PM BST

We will have to agree to disagree I think. I, like many, find him repulsive.

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This "many" you speak of is firmly in the minority, from my experience.

Quote: Tim Walker @ April 14 2008, 4:03 PM BST

Reading Boris is both funny and thought-provoking.

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Well said!

Quote: sootyj @ April 14 2008, 4:26 PM BST

He's a charming puppet, for a rather sinister Consrvative Party. A vote for him would be a very big nail in the coffin of British democracy.

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?!

(And the objectionable nature of Ken is his only positive.)

Quote: Richard Wells @ April 14 2008, 6:12 PM BST

I find pretty much every labour MP repulsive so there you go lol.

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Good boy, good boy!

Quote: Griff @ April 14 2008, 6:23 PM BST

I've met Boris twice, once in a pub, and a second time when he did a guest spot in a village panto I was musical directing. It was quite challenging working an arrangement of the "Eton Boating Song" into Jack And The Beanstalk and not telling the rest of the band why. (Boris's appearance at this particular charity fundraiser was on the hush-hush until the day.)

And I can vouch that he is very funny, very clever, and very charismatic. And indeed, very huge.

But underachiever ? Really ? He's a Member of Parliament, in fact a Shadow Cabinet Minister, and he might turn out to be Mayor of London. He's a successful broadsheet journalist, magazine editor, and ex President of the Oxford Union. He's a bestselling author of history books, journalism collections and fiction. And on top of all that, he does funny turns on TV.

Regardless of your views on his politics, we should all be such underachievers.

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I WANNA MEET BORIS! *stamps foot and sulks*

Quote: manchester's trendy chorlton @ April 14 2008, 7:32 PM BST

Seriously now, is there more to the british flag thing on here than meets the eye? I have noticed a definite right-wing bias on quite a few of the threads...is this a covert tory/bnp site?
!
just to be safe, I'm going to tell ricky gervais, peter baynam (sp?) et al and get you lot blacklisted

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Don't bother, like most of us they too are closet Nazis.

Quote: manchester's trendy chorlton @ April 14 2008, 7:32 PM BST

Seriously now, is there more to the british flag thing on here than meets the eye?

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Are you seriously one of these nutters who associates the flag with racism?

Quote: manchester's trendy chorlton @ April 14 2008, 7:32 PM BST

I have noticed a definite right-wing bias on quite a few of the threads...is this a covert tory/bnp site?

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. . . Are these threads in some kind of magical forum that even I don't have access to?

Quote: zooo @ April 14 2008, 7:39 PM BST

Hmm. It's quite an intriguing concept to say that because you find Boris very funny and charismatic, that magically makes you a big old racist.

How very prejudiced...

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In my experience, the people who complain about racist, bigotted, prejudiced Tories tend to be the ones who are racist, bigotted, prejudiced... Both amusing, and despairing.

Sigh read what the Mail, and the Times have to say about him as a mayoral candidate. A funny, brilliant maverick lead around by the nose, by his joyless and rather nasty Australian campaign manager.

Ken has achieved, and achieved as mayor. Safer streets, what ever the redtops say, workable transport policies. The guy has seen off strikes, riots, and terrorism. And he's being hung out to dry because his race adviser might have spent pocket change, trying to get a shag from a charity director.

And the Evening Standard, a chavvy version of the Daily Mail for idiots, slavishly supports Boris.

The idea that an uncommitted; MP, with one of the worst records for political engagement is going to be the next mayor of London, is terrifying. It says you can get the job, because, you're funny, and charismatic, and people liked you on TV.

It says the next MP will be good looking, and funny, and charming. It'll be reign of George W Bushes, with the whole idea of voting for policy, or track record defunct. It's how Hitler got into power.

I like Boris, but as mayor's go he'd be a real Greg Stillson.

Quote: sootyj @ April 14 2008, 7:58 PM BST

I wouldn't trust Ken to feed my cat, and I don't have a cat. I would trust him to manage a 10 billion rail project.

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£30 billion*

(Of course, it's probably not even a real billion anyway.)

Quote: Griff @ April 14 2008, 8:02 PM BST

That's pretty much what he did for our panto. I had crafted some witty lines for him which he binned instantly in favour of spouting extempore poetry, "This beanstalk of Jack's / Grows like Gordon Brown's tax" etc.

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Quote: Griff @ April 14 2008, 8:16 PM BST

Does anyone know if Boris will have to resign the whip if he becomes London Mayor ?

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I believe he only went into the race after ascertaining that he wouldn't have to, so no. He may find that, in time, he needs to... But no.

I'd love to see him as PM.

Can I hate Brown, mistrust Cameron, dislike Livingstone (whilst voting for him), at the same time?

Oh well can we all agree Galloway is an egotistical knob at least.

Quote: Tim Walker @ April 14 2008, 8:55 PM BST

Don't bother, like most of us they too are closet Nazis.

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Quote: sootyj @ April 14 2008, 9:16 PM BST

Sigh read what the Mail, and the Times have to say about him as a mayoral candidate. A funny, brilliant maverick lead around by the nose, by his joyless and rather nasty Australian campaign manager.

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Aren't most Australians nasty and joyless? Bitter for their ancestors having been caught and sent to such a godforsaken place, I reckon!

Quote: sootyj @ April 14 2008, 9:16 PM BST

Ken has achieved, and achieved as mayor. Safer streets, what ever the redtops say, workable transport policies. The guy has seen off strikes, riots, and terrorism.

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What dimension are you living in at the moment?

Quote: sootyj @ April 14 2008, 9:16 PM BST

And he's being hung out to dry because his race adviser might have spent pocket change, trying to get a shag from a charity director.

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Or ten.

Quote: sootyj @ April 14 2008, 9:16 PM BST

It says you can get the job, because, you're ... charismatic, and people liked you on TV.

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As opposed to Tony Blair becoming PM because he was charismatic, and people liked him on TV...

Quote: sootyj @ April 14 2008, 9:28 PM BST

Can I hate Brown, mistrust Cameron, dislike Livingstone (whilst voting for him), at the same time?

Oh well can we all agree Galloway is an egotistical knob at least.

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Certainly no arguments there!

I definitely think it's time for a change in government at the next election though.

I can't stand Brown and judging by opinion polls it looks like i'm not alone.

Well I said most, not all.

[

Aren't most Australians nasty and joyless? Bitter for their ancestors having been caught and sent to such a godforsaken place, I reckon!

I like Paul Hogan.

What dimension are you living in at the moment?

The real one, there's no serious newspaper that have really been able to stick anything to him (I don't count the Standard as a serious paper), of any significance. The thing about a truly great leader, is you don't notice many of the things because they never happen. e.g. no post July 7 race riots, over all reduction in crime (and violent crime), May day riots finally coming under control. Olympics, and massive business investment into the city. Ken's been an enviably good mayor, and I don't care if he's an antisemitic boozer, who looks like a willy.

Or ten.

Sadly for the rather foolish Mr Jasper, he apparently annihilated his career, and made a total tit of himself. With out ever getting his spuds drained. It looks like he made a school boy error, in not making sure a small number of charities he supported had proper systems in place. Both Labour, and Conservative parties have done far worse before breakfast.

As opposed to Tony Blair becoming PM because he was charismatic, and people liked him on TV...

Hey I hate Tone as much as the next man. Most of his best policies were cribbed from Thatcher. And I'm sick over Labour still blaming Conservatives 10 years into power. I'd like to see a Liberal MP Ming, or that funny f**ker who replaced him before Nick Smegg took over.

Certainly no arguments there!
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I'm with Sooty. I'd hate to count Ken as my friend, and there are some things he's done that I don't agree with at all. But he's got a proven record of delivering a multitude of things for the benefit of London and Londoners over 8 years. Boris has a proven record of not being edit his own copy on the Spectator to avoid offending people.

I do have a weird conspiracy theory, though. Brown wants Boris to win, and Cameron wants Ken to win. Why? Because the minute Boris is dropped in out of his depth the reputation of the Tories nosedives, and Labour will pick up the pieces in the zillions of London parliamentary seats come general election time. Cameron knows this, so a narrow defeat would suit him fine.

It's what the Times pretty much said on Sunday. A narrow loss to make up for Norris, and Archer, would really suit Cameron.

Quote: sootyj @ April 14 2008, 9:49 PM BST

And I'm sick over Labour still blaming Conservatives 10 years into power.

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Definitely will not argue with you on that one. It's just pathetic.