Fruit and Nuts

INTERVIEWER:
Supermarket chain, Weightrise, recently announced a new range of fruits, Fruit-Lite. We spoke to a representative.

SPOKESMAN:
Fruit is so last year. No-one does it now except pensioners. We want A1 males.

INTERVIEWER:
Sorry?

SPOKESMAN:
Take our strasberry - strawberry and raspberry. Probably the world’s first transvestite fruit. Then there’s the sat-nav. Navel orange crossed with a satsuma, first orange that’ll find its own way home. For the youth market, the kiwi ugli fruit cross - “wee ugly” - Sells well in Glasgow.

INTERVIEWER:
Really?

SPOKESMAN:
And for the clubbers, we’re experimenting with a fruit cereal cross. Struggling a bit with the cereal rape, but I think the date-rape’s really tasty. Fancy one?

Hi Sue

I think you've got a good concept going here. It might work better if you break the second bit of SPOKESMAN dialogue into two lines with the interviewer saying something.

I think it might work better with the interviewer playing it straight (and sympathetic) rather than being surprised. That way they could get a couple of funny lines in.

And you should re-word the last line. The 'date rape' bit kind of wallows into the conversation whereas just saying it first shocks ie 'Date rape!' 'What?!' 'It's date with rape seed: bit hard to swallow' (or something equally poor taste -- ba dum dum...)

Dan

Thanks for the feedback. Dan.

I think you're right about date rape getting lost. I'll have another look at it.

Lots of good puns, that would do well almost on their own. I'd drop the fruit=drugs simile not that funny, and it confuses.

But either a food report, or a pensioner being confused.

If you did it as a food report, it would be the sort of thing Tilt seems to be looking for.

Tried Tilt--- another miserable rejection.

What drug ref? Do you mean- date-rape? You've seen somthing I didn't!

Oh that you were aiming at a1 males not the elderly.

Keep going for tilt they've rejected me twice

Also remember that even if you don't get stuff in, it's still read, and still remembered.