Caring Lecter

HANNIBAL LECTER IS BEING INTERVIEWED BY A MAN AND A WOMAN

WOMAN
Mr Lectern if you could jsut complete the form please.

LECTER
A census taker once tried to make me complete a form, I ate his liver with some fava beans, and a nice chianti.

MAN
I don't bloody care if you ate his balls, with baked bean, and brown sauce, just complete the bloody form, if you want to be a care asistant.

LECTER
All right

WOMAN
The weirdos we get ever since the gouvernment scrapped police checks for foreign care workers.

MAN
Whose next?

WOMAN
Oh he sounds nice, but he can only work nights.

MAN
It's Dracula isn't?

Not bad. Didn't like the punch much though - would be better if it was a real character imo.
Maybe Shipman comes in complaining that Mrs. Jones won't take her pills? I dunno - you're the satirist.

I figure it works from the fill the form the line. If NR like the rest, they'll just trim in it. It's tricky as it has to be a froeign criminal, Sadam maybe?

But the whole skit is ruined in that case cos Lecter's supposed to be English.
Maybe Dharma? Saddam or bin Ladin would be good but I'd be interested to see how you'd fit them in to an old folk's home?

au contrare he is infact Lithuanian, some how I ended up reading the God awful Hannibal Rising

Does Hollywood just give English accents to any criminal/bad guy no matter where they're from?

Maybe in his movie bin Ladin will be asking Saddam to pass the salt, seeing as it's awefully far away?

Yes they do, it's how you never pay in the states. Say the word crumpet and every one hits the deck.