Int. Dining Room
A mother, father and young son are at the dinner table.
Son: Mother, Father, I know the truth.
Mother: What's that?
Son: That I am a bastard.
Father spits out his food.
Father: I beg your pardon?!
Son: I am a bastard.
Father: Of course you're not. Your mother and I were happily married when you were conceived.
Son: Not as happily as you think.
Father: What?
Mother stands up.
Mother: Right, who's ready for dessert?
Son: You are not my father, father.
Mother starts tugging at Father's arm.
Mother: Come on, dear. Let's go start on the washing up.
Father: Hang on. What do you mean I'm not your father?
Son: Have you ever wondered why I spend so much time down the canal?
Father: Because you like fishing.
Son: I fish a little different to the other boys though, don't I?
Father: I suppose diving in the water and fishing with your bare teeth is a...little different.
Mother: He's drunk! HAHA! He's a little drunk!
Father: He's not drunk! Now, son, what are you trying to say?
Son: I was fathered by... an otter!
Father: An otter?!
Son: Yes.
Father looks at mother.
Father: Is this true?
Mother: No.
Son: Don't lie, Mother!
Mother starts to cry.
Mother: Oh it's true. It's true!
Father: Oh my god!
Son: I'm going to stay with my father tonight.
Father: I am your father!
Son: No, you're not!
A car horn is heard.
Son: That's him now. I better get my coat.
Father: Right!
CUT TO:
Ext. Street
Father comes running out of the house and up to a car. He drags an otter out of it and they start to brawl. The son comes running out.
Son: Fathers!
ENDS
