Army surplus

SARGEANT RICKETTS, MAJOR FOSBURY-FLOPP and BILLY
ARMY RECRUITMENT CENTRE.
MAJOR SITTING AT DESK. ENTER SGT RICKETTS:

RICKETTS:Harry’s back on base, sir!

FOSBURY:Good God, thought we’d got rid of him for good. Not that short, are we, Ricketts?

RICKETTSomeone to join up now, sir.

FOSBURYend him in, Ricketts, send him in.

BILLY ENTERS. MAJOR EXTENDS HAND.

Major Fosbury-Flopp. So, how do you want to serve your country?

BILLYuicide bomber, sir.

FOSBURYuicide bomber? In the British Army?

BILLY:Yes, sir.

FOSBURY:Had any previous experience?

BILLY:No, sir.

FOSBURYupport a particular religion?

BILLY:Millwall, sir.

FOSBURYCurrent occupation?

BILLYsychopath.

FOSBURYsychopath, eh? Then you’ve come to the right place.

BILLY:Thank you, sir.

FOSBURY:Why suicide? I could probably arrange for you to go to Iraq and bomb hundreds of innocent civilians from above. Doesn’t that sound like more fun?

BILLY:Maybe, sir.

FOSBURY:Tell you what, if you’re hell-bent on suicide- how about a solo mission to Basra - without radio, guns or helmet?

BILLYounds great, sir.

FOSBURY:Excellent. And I’ve got the perfect travelling companion. (YELLS) Harry!

It's a really good idea, but you make an error that I do. It's to busy, with to many different stories, and the Harry punchline is a tad dated.

British Army hiring suicide bombers is a good one, I'd play that one up.

nice idea Sue