Virgin
[Scene is a library. An old man, rather posh accent approaches the librarian]
Old Man:
Hello young lady I wonder if you can help me.
Librarian:
I will if I can. What is it you’re looking for?
Old Man:
Well, it’s just, I’ve led a rather sheltered life. Never been married what not. Never even seen a woman’s naked body.
You understand.
Librarian:
Oh dear.
Old Man:
I’m looking for something a bit racy. Not too much. Don’t want to run before I can walk what.
Librarian:
Right, well we haven’t got much in the way of ’racy’ material but I think I know the section you want. This way.
[They walk down an aisle and stop]
Librarian:
This is ‘Romance’. Try some Mills and Boon and Catherine Cookson’s always good for a sexy story line.
Old Man:
Can you tell me? Do they have…..um……pictures?
Librarian:
I’m afraid not. Look, just between you and me, you’d be better off in the Private Shop a couple of doors down. Do you know it?
Old Man:
I think so. Passed it on the way here. They sell that sort of thing?
Librarian:
Oh yes.
Old Man:
Jolly good. Thanks very much. I’ll just be off then.
[We follow the man into the Private Shop. He approaches a girl behind the counter. She’s chewing gum]
Old Man:
Tell me young lady, have you anything by Hemmingway?
