Credit Heaven

MAN WRAPPED IN SHEET, CARRYING SMALL SUITCASE IN DESERT. PHONE ON A POST. MAN PICKS UP RECEIVER:

MAN:Um ... hello.

RECORDED MESSAGE:Welcome to purgatory. For heaven, press one. For hell, press two.

MANne.

RECORDED MESSAGEorry, no-one is currently available to take your call. Please try later.

MANne ... one ...

RECORDED MESSAGEorry, no-one...

MAN:Two.

SATAN: Hi there!

MAN:I’m trying to get through to heaven but no-one’s answering...

SATANn my way.

MAN:No, wait...

SOUND OF BMW ARRIVING, VERY FAST AND LOUD. SATAN GETS OUT IN NATTY SUIT.

SATAN:Heaven’s being repossessed. It’s the credit crunch. No-one’ll lend to them.

MAN:Why not?

SATAN: Where do you think all the best financiers go? Saint Peter’s threatening to lie in front of the bulldozers. Now. Name?

MAN:Minghella.

SATANh yeah, chef with the tits. Loved your programme.

MAN:What? The Ladies Detective Agency?

SATAN:No, Hell’s Kitchen. You coming with me then?

MANon’t seem to have a lot of choice.

PICKS UP CASE, GETS IN CAR AND THEY DRIVE OFF. ENTER SAINT PETER, IN SHEET, WHO PICKS UP PHONE.

ST PETEReter here. Sorry, too late. Satan’s been at the phones again.

It's a pretty good idea, but it's a bit busy. 3 skits kinda jammed together. Would be inclined to suggest, sticking to heaven reposessed, and play on I was good all my life angle.

Great advice. As soon as you said it, I could see it but I didn't know what was wrong before just that it didn't flow. And if I work on them I can get three for the price of one!