British Comedy Guide

Sue

MAN WALKS DOWN STREET, WOMAN STOPS HIM

WOMAN
I represent Morals and None Solicitors, have you been the victim of an accident that wasn't your fault.

MAN
No I have not, do you mind I'm in a hurry.

SHE PUSHES HIM HE FALLS OVER, WE CAN SEE THERE WAS SOME ONE KNELT DOWN BEHIND HIM

WOMAN
Now you have, want to sue.

MAN
You're mad, and unluckily for you only my pride, and bottom are bruised.

WOMAN STAMPS ON HIS HAND

WOMAN
What about those broken fingers, be off work for 6 weeks, with those, and those crushed testicles.

MAN
I give up don't hurt me anymore I'll sue.

WOMAN
You'd better, how about pet insurance?

MAN
My cat's fine, oh God know.

WOMAN DROPS A DEAD CAT IN HIS LAP

WOMAN
How about life insurance?

MAN IS NOW CRYING

MAN
You're going to kill me aren't you?

WOMAN
No, well at least after you've gotten our funeral cover.

I like this. It needs a few tweaks to tighten up a line here and there, but the basic premise is rock solid. I'd make only one substantial change ... the punchline doesn't work because funeral insurance only pays for someone's funeral. Better if the man's last line is simply: 'I'll do it! I'll do anything!' Have the woman hand him a form to sign, then pull a gun from her handbag and shoot him.

It doresn't really work, make them either Insurance sales persons or Solicitors, not a weird combinatiuon of both.

I like the last line. The woman's so dodgy she'd sell anything. Good sketch.

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