MAN WALKING DOWN DODGY SOHO STYLE STREET A WOMAN IN A LONG COAT, APPROACHES HIM IN AN COQUETTISH MANNER.
WOMAN
Hello sir maybe I could interest you in...
MAN
Ohh er, um, thats a bit forward.
WOMAN
Maybe I could interest you in talking to you for 5 minutes about Leap for Leprosy.
SHE PULLS OPEN A COAT SHE IS WEARING A "LEAP FOR LEPROSY" TSHIRT, AND HAS A CLIPBOARD.
MAN
Damn you're a chugger.
WOMAN
Yes I am, Vulture island in the Caribean is the world's largest leper colony.
MAN
Lucky lepers, all that free sunshine, and blue seas.
WOMAN
American cruise ships complained about having to look at these poor, flakey unfortunates. So there's now a 100 foot barrier all around Vulture Island, they live in the shade.
MAN
How awful.
WOMAN
During Tropical Storm, angry Widdle last year, the barrier was turned into a giant fish tank as it filled with 20 feet of water. All those floating lepers looked like a giant bowl of chunky soup, from the air.
MAN IS CRYING NOW
MAN
Those poor brave, soggy, lepers, how much do you want. If I give you £1000 will it buy buckets to bail them out next time, maybe a periscope so they can see over the barrier.
WOMAN
Well no, all money raised goes to telling people about their plite, there's none to spare for buckets.
MAN
So if I give you money, it'll jsut goto making people like me feel like shit.
WOMAN
Err yes.
MAN
Good day
HE STORMS OFF
WOMAN CALLS AFTER HIM
WOMAN
Wait if we reach £1,000,000 Bono's going to release an album about their plight.
