Jeremy Vile Show

The Jeremy Vile show
Jeremy Vile is talking to his audience.

Jeremy
Good morning, and welcome to the Jeremy Vile show. I have been accused of presenting a bear pit, of Chavs twatting each other, for cheap laughs. Well were going to cover politics this morning instead.
On today’s show we have David Cameron and Gordon Brown on the Northern Rock crisis.

David and Gordon burst on stage wrestling with each other.

David
You can take your dangerously low interest rates and shove them up your bum

Gordon
I’ll shove them up yours posh boy.

Jeremy
After the break, Sir Ming Campbell, and Charles Kennedy in I may spell of piss, but you’re still pissed.

What do you think of this as a format for picking up dull party conferences?
e.g. could be used more than once. This is pretty ancient innit!

Doesn't work for me. The Tories are the party of the middle classes / home owners and so wouldn't complain about low interest rates. Also, the govt handed over control of interest rates to the BoE in about 1998.

Topicals are all well and good, but they are basically saying 'look how smart I am, parodying the news'. If the facts are wrong, they will never work.

http://www.conservatives.com/tile.do?def=news.story.page&obj_id=126877&speeches=1

Cameron has for the last couple of years, criticised the gouvernment not so much for lowering interest rates, but for managing them poorly, and not really handing there management fully over to the BOE.

With the BOE control being dependent on the NOI who aren't independent. Cameron has also in the past comented on the difficulty of new home owners to get onto the property ladder.

As such it is not unreasonable to assume, if he was to brawl with Brown. He might suggest shoving low interest rates up his bum. He might also suggest Brown could suggest his removal of the 10 p income rate up his bum (an act which affects mainly poorly piad manual workers, nurses et al a former hard line of Labour support)

I don't think I'm being smart, and I usually don't challenge my critics.

I dislike inaccuracy in satire. Satire for me should be the news by other means. Not cheap point scoring. The Labour party, has piece dismemebered much of what was the NHS/Welfare state through PFI. Cmaeron and Brown are distrubingly similar in out look.

As such I deliberately chose an issue on which they were incestuosly close.

Did you like the actual sketch? I didn't I thought it was a bit clunky and obvious.

I actually wrote it about 4 months ago, when Brown was seducing Thatcher. And Cameron was whining about Labour pinching his polices.

I'll find the specific quote, but Cameron did criticise him for lwo interest rates, and encouraging debt.

Blimey - you took criticism badly, taking a day to source Tory party policy! And to think my comment was just honest, spur of the moment reaction to how I saw the sketch.

I know my economics and political theory so I'm well aware of traditional Tory, labour and new labour fiscal policies. And, while there might be a hidden away speech where Cameron criticises Brown for low interest rates, that certainly won't be the norm.

And if Cameron, as you state, has said it's too difficult to get on the property ladder he would hardly moan about low interest rates. Incidentally, interest rates aren't at that low a rate historically - that's why they'll go down .25% within the next month.

You say you don't like being smart, but my point, to try to help you out, was that with topicals you have to be smart. You are showing the listener how well you have interpreted news events, dissecting them and adding a humorous twist.

I didn't like this sketch, but I do like your approach and also a lot of your other stuff.

Oddly enough I don't mind my punctuation, spelling, humorousnesses, or grammar corrected (many of which can be well dodgy!) On the other hand I have a small, obsession about inaccuracy in satire. I really believe as a satirist one shouldn't ever be actually counter-factual.

So even my crudest, nastiest topical skits, I like to think are accurate.

I kind of look at a topical skit, as wrapping the newspaper of truth around the baseball bat of humour, and beating the truth in. It's a bit of a hopeless mission.

I think this skit, was written during the conference season, year before last or so. When Brown, was particularly gratingly stealing Cameron's underwear. To the extent of I suspect actually f**king Thatcher's withered c**t (inviting her to number 10 for just a cup of tea my arse!) Leaving a rather pathetic Cameron whining about it (to the extent of criticizing irresponsibly low interest rates). It's why it was so specific.

Unfortunately in this case I'm a bit of a Don Quixote in a windmill factory.

All this fuss for a second rate skit, I wasn't very proud of. Did like the line about Liberal leaders.