TERMINAL ANIMOSITY
INT DAY. THE NOT-TOO-DISTANT FUTURE. HEATHROW’S TERMINAL 6 SPACE TERMINAL
A LONE MALE TRAVELLER WAKES UP FROM THE FLOOR TO LOOK UP AT A SMILING WOMAN.
Woman:
Good afternoon sir, are you booked on the Virgin Space Gaze or the Moonwalk Thriller?
Man:
Actually, I was due to record a piece for a site on the cosmonet about eating in space..
Woman:
Ah, you mean the You’ve Been Spaced package for YOUSAT?
Man:
I think so..
Woman:
Slight problem.. you’re gonna have to pay another 16 units as we’ve had a baggage malfunction at terminal 6…
Man:
What? But it cost 2 trillion units to build and was planned when Branson was still alive.
Woman:
He is still alive, sir.
Man:
No, his cryogenically frozen head was defrosted last year and bolted onto the body of David Beckham.
Woman:
Still alive sir. Still alive sir.
(SHE TILTS HER HEAD AND SMILES BLANDLY)
Man:
So when will we be blasting off? We’ve been delayed for 29 hours and my bags are probably on a moon buggy by now..
Woman:
Here’s your bags sir.
SHE LOOKS DOWNWARDS AND TWO SUITCASES APPEAR AT HE MAN’S SIDE. HE LOOKS AT THEM IN AMAZEMENT.
Man:
But….so when will we be blasting off?
THE WOMAN HAS VANISHED NOW AND HER VOICE CAN BE HEARD OVER THE TANNOY.
VOICE ON TANNOY:
THE YOU’VE BEEN SPACED FLIGHT WILL BE DEPARTING SOON, SOON. THE YOU’VE BEEN SPACED FLIGHT WILL BE DEPARTING SOON, SOON, SOON..
SFX: A RUMBLING SOUND GETTING LOUDER.
THE VOICE ON THE TANNOY GETS LOUDER AND LOUDER AND MORE DISTROTED. THE MAN HOLDS HIS HEAD IN HIS HANDS.
VOICE ON TANNOY:
THE YOU’VE BEEN SPACED FLIGHT WILL BE DEPARTING SOON, SOON, SOON, SOON.. THE YOU’VE BEEN SPACED FLIGHT WILL BE DEPARTING SOONIE, SOOONAAAAAAH, SOO-PA-PA, TROO-PA-PA……..
FADE TO WHITE.
