A MAN IS WANDERING WITH A MAP LOST. HE SPIES A POLICE MAN AND RUNS UPTO HIM.
MAN
Excuse me do you know the way to the concert hall?
POLICE TURNS AROUND, HE HAS A BIG TESCOS LOGO ON THE FRONT OF HIS HELMET.
POLICE
Of course I do sir, now would you like the Finest, Organic, or Value directions?
MAN
What's the difference?
POLICE
With finest I'll give you a piggy bank there, with a running documentary on sites of local interest. With organic, I'll show you how to make a divining rod to find the route.
MAN
I'll just have value ta.
POLICE SMACKS HIM OVER THE HEAD WITH A TRUNCHEON
POLICE
Move along you tramp, now!
MAN SCUTTLES AWAY.
MAN
Could have been worse, I could have gone to Aldi.
ANOTHER MAN IS CHASED OFF STAGE BY A POLICE MAN ON HORSE BACK, ALA PLANET OF THE APES. HE HAS ALDI ON HIS HELMET.