Int. Barbers
A bald man is sitting in a barbers chair. A barber examines the man's skull.
Barber: So, uh, what style were you looking for?
Man: I want to keep it quite long.
Barber: Right, you are aware that you're somewhat...
Man: Good looking? Yes, I get that all the time.
Barber: Whoever from?
Man: My mother mainly.
Barber: Is she blind?
Man: Sort of. I keep her locked in a cupboard.
Barber: How delightful. What I was originally referring to, though, was your lack of...
Man: Manners? I suppose you're right, you big twat.
Barber: You've got no hair.
Man: You what?
Barber: You're as bald as a babies armpit.
Man: F**k off!
Barber: Oy! Watch yer manners.
Man: Just get on with the haircut!
Barber: Alright. If you could tip your head forwards please.
The man bows his head. The barber whips off his own hair, which is a wig. He puts it on the man's head.
Barber: All done.
The man looks up into the mirror.
Man: It's not a wig is it?
Barber: No, no.
Man: Alright then, well, yeah. I like it.
The barber takes the man's gown off. The man rises and stares hard at the barber.
Man: Where's your hair gone?
Barber: Oh it's under here.
The barber pulls off his 'bald wig' cap. His real hair is under a hairnet.
Barber: It's health and safety.
ENDS
