Simon Cowell’s Charity 2
COWELL IS SAT IN A CHAIR LOOKING GRUMPY. A WHEELCHAIR-BOUND MAN IS WHEELED IN BY HIS WIFE
COWELL
Right. This should be interesting. You’ve got thirty seconds. Impress me.
THE WHEELCHAIR-BOUND MAN STARTS TO GURGLE.
COWELL
What’s that? You call that a disability? For God’s sake.
WIFE
But Simon, he can’t even wipe his own arse. We need you to pay his fees!
COWELL
I’ve seen bigger cripples at a Stephen Gately concert.
WIFE
Just give me a chance.
COWELL
You’ve had your chance and you’ve blown it by wheeling in him. Next!
THE DUO LEAVE AND ANOTHER WOMAN COMES IN
WOMAN
Hi. I’ve had this pain in my finger for about three weeks…
COWELL
For crying out loud…!
ENDS
Maybe it's better if it finishes on the Gately line, with Cowell just saying "next".