British Comedy Guide

Affairing Sketch

Int. Kitchen.

A woman is sat at a table reading a magazine. A man enters.

Man: I’ve got something to tell you.

The woman puts down her magazine as the man sits down.

Woman: What is it?

Man: (SIGHS) I’ve been having an affair.

Woman: What?

Man: I’m sorry.

Woman: Who is it?

Man: It’s not important.

Woman: WHO is it?!

Man: (SIGHS) My hand.

Woman: WHAT?!

Man: My hand!

Woman: Is that why you’ve been buying all those.. fancy gloves?

The man nods. The woman is welling up.

Woman: How long’s it been going on for?

Man: Long enough to know that I don't love you anymore.

Woman: How LONG?!

Man: A few weeks.

Woman: Weeks?! Do you even know her?

Man: Like the back of my... Yes. I know her.

Woman: You haven’t been...

Man: Yes.

Woman: You BASTARD!

The woman slaps the man in the face and storms out. The man looks at his hand.

Man: I love you.

The man kisses his hand.

Man: Oops! Wrong hand!

The man’s other hand slaps him in the face.

ENDS

I like this. It's a twist on a theme.

Now this is where watching Family Guy would have paid off. They have a recurring gag about Adam West and his hand. He even marries it at one point. I realise yours isn't a carbon copy but it's similar enough to seem passe.

D'oh!

No, that's The Simpsons.

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