Antique policy roadshow

Antique policy road show

Hugh, and Gordon are standing talking to each other.

Hugh
Good afternoon, and welcome to a very special 300th episode of The Antiques Road Show, from Westminster, where we’ll be evaluating, some rare finds, belonging to Prime Minister Brown. Mr Brown.

Gordon
Good afternoon Hugh, whilst going through my office, in I came across these policies, I had a feeling they might be early Blair.

Hands Hugh a file, Hugh examines it.

Hugh
My, my, private funding for hospitals, fines for misbehaving children’s parents behaviour, support for useless defence procurement, they’re much older.

Gordon
Major dynasty?

Hugh
Oh no older, they’re vintage Margaret Thatcher.

Gordon
Crivens, are they valuable?

Hugh
Oh yes most of middle England, will be willing to give their votes for these policies.

David Cameron storms onto the set.

David
Give those policies, they’re mine, they’re my inheritance you beastly oik.

Gordon
Och ignore him, he’s delusional he actually thinks he’s the head pf the Conservative Party.

I like this one Sooty.

You need to fix Gordon's first speech as it's a bit jumbled.

Any sketch that has "crivens" in it gets my vote

It's almost 4 months old. Sad that, that miserly unsimiling shit bag, is still open to jokes about him being a right wing thatcherite nut job.

I see what you mean about the first line. It'll be tough as I was trying to keep the length down.

n.b. more skits should have Brown going crivens, it fits. Maybe jings as well.

You just need to put the in in the right place.

Gordon
Good afternoon Hugh, whilst going through some papers in my office, I came across these policies, I had a feeling they might be early Blair.

And what about ma boab too?

May be give him a bucket to sit on?

Quote: sootyj @ March 14, 2008, 5:44 PM

May be give him a bucket to sit on?

View original

And dungarees and spikey hair

Hate to piss in your porridge, but Private Eye beat you to it.i.e.Browns=Broons. Don't you hate when that happens?

I know thats why I never wrote that sketch, piss away.

n.b. what did you think of the actual sketch?

Good. Be good to see you slip Ming in there somewhere if you could.

Ming, I tried to do him as skippy the bush kangaroo, it was crap I gave up. Will put up one of my sorrowful efforts.

n.b. check out Arseholes that my current fave effort.