Bang

British soldiers being trained

Sergeant
Right you horrible lot, point your fingers and yell bang!

Soldier
But sergeant when do we get rifles?

Sergeant
You don’t, what does a proper soldier need a rifle for anyway?

Soldier
Too kill the enemy. Yelling bang won’t do it.

Sergeant
That’s because you’re not yelling bang loud enough you ‘orrible little man. You don’t need a rifle you little twerp.

SoldierOr my arms, my legs, my eyes, or decent compensation.

Sergeant
Now here’s your new body armour, you lucky, lucky scum.

Hands soldier a piece of paper, soldier reads it.

Soldier
It just says duck.

Sergeant
Don’t bloody just read it, do it!

Very good.

I hate you, you bloody joke machine.

Oh with the BBC thing coming up, I'm just dusting down some relics to see if they still work.

Expect a topical skit on the Suez Crisis soon.

Heh!

Liked this one. Good strong finish but a bit let down in the middle.

The Sarg's explaination for why they're shouting doesn't work IMO. Might be better for him to tell the solider that as it's a exercise then they'll get the real guns for actual battle.

The whole point is they don't. It's a quick skit on lousy supplies for the armed forces.

Hmmm. Not sure that comes across. The guns bit seems a bit busy and the meaning is a bit lost (on me anyway on first read). The ending does work very well and I know what you're saying overall.

I could just be that the "you little twerp" is not needed and it's throwing the thing a bit out of balance. It doesn't sound authentic to me whereas calling him an 'orrible little man is spot on.

It's for NR and TS, they change so much. That I usually worry about getting the basics across, and a few lines that I really want. Even then they'll usually change them.