Well here's one I was mumbling on about earlier.
Int. Wine Shop
A man walks up to the counter. There’s a selection of bottles on there and small wine glasses. An assistant is behind the counter.
Assistant: Would you like to sample any of the wines?
Man: Yeah sure. What’ve you got?
Assistant: I think you’ll like this spicy little number from Chile.
The assistant pours a small measure of wine out for the man. He also pours one for himself. They both taste the wine.
Man: That’s pretty nice.
Assistant: Mmmmm, imagine having this little bitch with a really nice steak.
Man: Little what?
Assistant: A little bit of steak.
Man: Oh, well, yeah I suppose it would go alright with steak.
Assistant: Alright?! I don’t think you’re fully appreciating it! Try another drop!
The assistant fills up the two glasses again. The two men drink them. The assistant’s glass is left half full.
Man: Oh yeah, it tastes much nicer this time.
Assistant: It certainly works quicker than Viagra doesn’t it?
The assistant adjusts the crotch of his trousers.
Man: I, uh, what?
The assistant finishes his glass off.
Assistant: (PUCKERS LIPS) Mmmm! (PUCKERS LIPS) I’m definitely getting, mmmm, yes. I’m definitely getting wood.
Man: What?!
Assistant: Just try one more glass. Then you’ll see it for what it is - A filthy whore!
The assistant hastily pours two more glasses of wine, spilling it as he goes. The two men drink them. The assistant downs his, throws his head back and starts panting.
Assistant: OH MY GOD!
Man: Are you alright?
Assistant: I’m... I’m COMING!
The assistant starts hammering the counter as he orgasms. He then composes himself and looks suspiciously at the man.
Assistant: I’m sorry, but did you fail to come?
Man: I think so.
Assistant: I’ve got it! (CLICKS FINGERS) You’re gay aren’t you! What you need is a good Rosé.
Man: I think I need more than that.
Assistant: Well if you’re not gay and you’re not straight. What are you?
Man: I’m a eunuch.
ENDS
